bittercandy

2012-01-22T16:00:00.002+08:00

I felt torn and wanted to be alone. But it didn't help when a stranger came over and freaked me out....... It didn't help knowing the mistake I made hurts me more than I thought it would.

Always treasure people who care for you. Feel with your heart, don't believe in what others say. They may not always be true.

That guilt, forever.

2012-01-16T01:50:00.004+08:00

Second week into school. Really can't seem to get in the mood for school or for anything at all.

I remember two years ago, after A levels prelim and before the actual A levels, I broke down in school and started questioning myself why I'm studying all the nonsense I was trying to memorise. Why science stream? Why all those nonsense which I don't even enjoy? Why JC? I actually burst out into tears in school. What a stupid girl?? But my friends were telling me, I still have time to change my path, I was still 18. I had the luxury to make mistakes and learn from it. Well I guess I did. No more phy nor chem now. Studying what I chose because its what I like and enjoy. Have to say it is a right choice. I hate it when people choose courses because they think they will earn millions in that career path. I mean, yes, of course we want to have a stable income in the future which whatever skills or knowledge we pick up in uni. But, really? To be an accountant/doctor/lawyer, etc, just because of the high average income? Or worse, choosing a course just because their grades allow them to. People struggling in school cuz they hate what they are studying but hanging on because they think the cert is gonna bring them reputation and money, put your hands up. Shame on you.

Gradually realise that there are two kinds of people -- people who do what they want and people who do what their friends do. The first group of people decide what they want and convince friends to follow or would just step out of their comfort zone to meet new people in a new environment. While the latter would stick to their friends' decisions with no mind of their own. I'm not putting down anyone in any of the two groups, but I'm just pointing out how different people's priorities can help them make differing decisions. Well, its interesting. And thats probably part of the reason why I enjoy being alone sometimes. I get to do what I want, go to where I want to without having to consider where the person I'm with wants to do/go. I don't understand why some people are so afraid of being alone. I understand we need company at times. But time alone can be good time spent too. Well maybe I'm a loner so I think about it this way. Honestly, teenage years changed me.

数年前，她常说我单纯，她常笑我无知。

现在的我才发现当时她说的是对的。因为现在的我看着过去无邪的自己，又爱又恨。

无法改变的是我再也不能那么天真了。

要相信最好的朋友，他们永远是对的。旁观者清。

2011-12-31T20:30:00.000+08:00

(Writing this as I am at work haha!)

It’s the time of the year to review all that has happened in the past 365 days again.! My favourite and must-have blogpost every year :)

Starting with 2011 resolutions..

1. Study hard, ofcuz. Get a even higher cap for sem2! Checked!

2. GET RID OF EYEBAGS >;( Uh.. Eyebags are gone but not because I’ve been sleeping more haha!

3. Ofcuzzz, spending quality time with family no matter what! Checked :)

4. Regret nothing, repeat no mistakes Too hard to gauge what’s a mistake and what’s not..

Judging from that.. It seems like 2011 had been pretty kind to me!

Jan

Year 1 sem 2 started, and things were still looking good. Same things, same story, enjoying school life as much as I knew I would.

Feb

School, school and more school. Valentine’s day spent with sweetest people and it was one the best vday ever :) no boys, just happiness. I hope my friends enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed their’s! Its always one of my favourite-st day of the year!
Vday!

Mar

I think by then, project deadlines were drawing near. I remember that sem I did all my projects except marketing with Hannah. Haha! I actually enjoy working with her. Our different perspectives and how we can work together by complementing each other’s knowledge.

Apr

One of the best months because the boy decided to confess to me once again. I remember that night, we poured out all the secrets and the little things we did which the other didn’t know about. It was a perfect ending if it was a movie. Fact is, that’s just the beginning! (for the good or for the bad :p) Exams ended that very month as well and that concludes the end of my Freshman year in uni.

(still my fav pic of us!)

May

My three-month long holidays started in May. I was frantically searching for an internship, but after a month, still no news from anyyyy company. Was so pissed off that I went to look for a temp job instead and I got one the very next day. Sad to say, one day after working there, companies which I had applied internships to started calling me up for interviews. But its already too late :( Didn’t quite enjoy my work nor learn anything from it. Sadly.

June

As I’d completed my assignment early and for fear the boss’s son was coming in would have nothing to do, I ended my employment with the company. That left me with a lottt of time to prepare for the 2 camps – FOC’11 and Oweek’11. End June was FOC’11, and I was the councilor for Merlin :) It was indeed a wonderful group and I truly enjoyed my time then. Met really wonderful people, both the seniors and freshies. It reminded me of FOC’10, and realized how far I’ve come. The highlight is probably the disturbing of freshies during SP nights and the finale night. So proud of my freshies for winning the best video! :'>

FOC'11

One week after FOC was my birthday. It was a good surprise by Jeanne and Jean Le :’> strawberry cheesecake! And bought a boy home, officially, the first time in my life. Be honored!

July

Dry runs, amendments of publicity materials, and other prep for O’week. Was just playing, hanging out and having fun the entire month! That is good life :)

Aug

The long awaited O’week 2011! It was good, at least in my opinion. Sleepless nights to play card games which I never win (NOT EVEN A SINGLE GAMEEE :( ), fattening supper which I will give in only during camps, drinking redbull like its plain water and doing all sorts of nonsense which I will never allow myself to on usual days. Haha good days :) and ofcuz, met really awesome people which some has eventually became friends in school :) Right after that, school started and horror begins. That is the last ever school camp I will be in.
Oweek'11

Sep - Nov

Mundane life, school, school and more school. It was my first time joining a case comp. Sleepless night followed by lect and tut and submission. Though we didn’t do well for it, it was still a great experience. Thereafter, it was nothing but more sleepless nights working on assignments, projects and nonsense. After a failed attempt to sign up for another kickboxing class, I ended up as the exco member in HnF, in charge of marketing. So insane sending of emails to corporate clients started, along with tests of negotiation, etc. It was a good start, a very good start. Quite proud of myself for achieving all that, especially the cash sponsorship :) School was a whole new experience too. Somehow things just changed. Freshman year is still the best :'> best time so far.

Went for my first 10km run in Oct too. I would never sign up and be motivated if not for my boyf! I was pretty proud of myself actually bwahaha :)

Dec

Exams ended, had much fun!

My career counselor called me up one morning (when I was still sleeping) and told me to apply for two internships. So I did, and ended up as a HR position ever since. Good lord, my office is in chaichee (right smack in the middle of kembangan and bedok). Long train rides every day. But thank goodness, this is a real internship, not your photocopying woman kind of job. So much insights and so much more to learn. With really nice colleagues, the travelling is definitely worthwhile.

I have a thing for guys with birthdays fall in dec, maybe because its my fav month. So, apparently, Jean Le’s birthday falls in mid dec, and I managed to plan a day of celebration for him. No surprises, like what he did for me, but I hope he enjoyed that very day :)

My favourite season, Christmas, was filled with loads of fun food and love.

Dinner-ed with lizard and Jeanne on eve of Christmas eve at ippudo :D Still can’t stop loving ramen. Surprise for her kind of failed, but we enjoyed the matcha cheesecake from sun w moon nonetheless. We always do silly surprises for each other on their birthdays and I truly treasure all these moments spent together :’> (photos up once they send them to meeee)

Christmas eve morning was bad, all my plans went wrong. But still had a good time with mumsie :D She was so happy cuz I brought her around utown and treated her to starbucks. Very easily satisfied mum (Y) Went over to Jean Le’s place for dinner with besssstest bud wongkeanyong and youyi. Kinect till more people came over and join us. Countdown, poker(and lost everything, no surprise), photos and home :)

It was a crescentian-ish Christmas day! Wild honey with sec2 besties. Yumz. It was nice catching up and our weird gift exchange at arteastiq haha, next year got to be a better one. Met YenCeen at arteastiq and had tea like taitais haha! I really enjoy talking to her partly cuz I really like her voice hehe :)

Love Christmas!

Repaid my sleep debt and went raffles place with mum and sis for some post-xmas shopping hehe. Bro-in-law joined us during dinner at ichban boshi. They serve the best udon, favvv!!!

So blessed and happy to spend the Christmas period with loved ones, people important to me :)

Met Cailing, Guohwee and YiTong on 29^th for dinner too. I have no idea what came over me but I was totally losing myself yet being myself. Its like being sane only when I’m insane. No matter what, it was a good evening spent with them JFriends I made in 2011 whom I’ll treasure and keep.

That concludes my entire year. It’s been so long, so happy changes since the beginning of the year. Hope that this brand new chapter will be more exciting, filled with more love and happiness. Throughout the year, I’ve understood that when we gain something, we lose something else. There’s a limited amount of things we can have and its about what we think is more worth it. Those who matter wouldn’t mind, those who mind wouldn’t matter – Clearly tells us who are the ones who are worth it and who are not. Also, what we can’t have is always what we think are the best. Its just psychological. I realize its easier for me to say count my blessings. But I can barely do so because of how greedy I am. Its my flaw and I admit it.

Ending off with new year resolutions for 2012 :)

1. Continue to study hard, ace my mods, brush up on interview/AC skills and land myself in a good internship this summer

2. Continue spending quality time with family and blow up at home less often L

3. Learn something new (ukulele!!!) this year. No excuses!!

4. Keep fit, get back on kickboxing classes and go running more frequently

5. Keep faith and not give up.

Happy new year, my friends :) Learn from the past, move on to a brand new chapter. xx

2011-12-02T02:09:00.001+08:00

Finallyyyyyy exams are over and year2 sem1 just zoom past like that.
Gosh, it was hard. Stayed up so many nights just to complete assignments, projects. And together with other reasons, school is just less enjoyable now. Heartbreaking but I guess its permanent. Really can't wait to graduate already. Anyway, I love all my afternoon/evening papers. Been sleeping late, waking up at noon. Can't imagine what will happen to me if I have a 9am paper.!

Jean Le came to pick me up from school after my last paper for dinner. Le sigh, books > boy during exam period, sadly! Felt bad that I sort of neglected him this sem despite meeting weekly. Really wonder what I'm thinking ;( Anyhow, didn't do much that night cuz I was really drained after all the slogging for weeks. Got a mini heart attack when he realised he left his aligners behind! Thank goodness he ran back in time to retrieve it!

Fell asleep real quickly that night, woke up slightly late and rushed down to mbs with Guohwee to meet Cailing :) Went to the banyan tree fitness centre there and it was really pretty! But I was being reallll lazyyyy, very disgusted by myself! Took a quick shower and went to the pool!

Sadly, it started raining pretty heavily so we got out of the water! We were freeeezing, I swear! So much for planning to suntan ;(

Decided to head back to the room to play some card games and twister hahaha!

We waited till the sun came out again and a few others came over before heading down to the pool again :D Sadddly, it was still drizzling and I was still freezing in the water, pfft ;(

The jacuzzi is super awesome! So warm and nice, we refuse to leave for awhile. Haha.
Went back to the room and soon everyone were in the room. It was kindddd of noisy cuz there were more than ten of us in the room! After Lewis' failed attempt to persuade me to club with them, they left for zouk, leaving Chloe, GuoHwee and I in the room. We then walked over to the malls after sending Chloe to the train station to get drinks cuz we were dying from thirst! Everywhere was so far away and I'm a really lazy girl ;( The night was thus spent watching tv in the room hahah and playing cards. Really don't understand why I'm so bad at card games now! ;( Slept for a couple of hours before some of them came back. Gosh, didn't expect them to come back so early! Pig me went back to sleep thereafter even after everyone else came back. It was getting too comfy, heh :'>

Anyhow, woke up and found most of them gone. Watched cartoon network with the rest who were still staying. Hehhh, cant believe we survived an hour of powerpuff girls! Gosh. I then left at noon to meet WeiWan for lunch near his workplace. Firsttt ramen after exams at Keisuke Tokyo! Tried the crab based cuz its something unique, I think. Haha. It was quite good, and we were talking rubbish as usual. Haha. Just realise we've known each other for 8 years already, ohmy, how time flies. Took a long busride back after that and I did nothing but sleep. Really, I am such a pig!

Needs to plan what I'm doing this hols.! Other than cca, meetups, I really should learn something new. I can't remember the last time I did something for the first time. Can't wait for chirstmas too :)

Super sad song that speaks through everyone's heart :'(

Something feels wrong, but I don't know what. Its not that I don't want to say, but more like I don't know how to start. Jokes aside, I really don't know what I want anymore. Too afraid of too many things.
Y'know, sometimes we bottle everything up because we feel that saying it may just make things worse. But when everything piles up, the negative emotions pile up and things just get out of hand. We should stop and think at some point in time. Reflect before its too late.

2011-11-26T02:46:00.001+08:00

Its late, i'm halfway through studying for my monday's paper, but I seriously need to blog abt this....

This clump of eyelashes had been stuck IN (yes, damn it, IN) my lower eyelid of my left eye since a few months back. Not one or two strands that can be easily removed, but one CLUMPPPPP of it ffffml ttm. I've had blur vision of only my left eye but I didn't know what was wrong. Until one day I pulled down my lower lid and found a chunk of lashes stuck in there. Tried washing my eye with water/saline, blinking rapidly and nothing worked. So I let it stay there since it wasn't causing much uncomfort. UNTIL recently it got worse, and I start to worry if my eye will get infected. SOOO in the middle of the night, I googled ways to remove lashes that are stuck in eye and I tried one that sounded sane -- wet cotton swab with saline solution and gently move it out.

Please tell me I wouldn't go blind/get infected. I'd seriously cry.
(I'm seriously horrified and there are still a few more lashes left still stuck deep in the lower eyelid, fml.)
Okay sorry for the gross content.. Just need to archive how to remove them in case it happens to me again. Though I am seriously praying hard it never will. Okay back to mugging.

2011-11-16T01:08:00.001+08:00

I refused to dump it away even though its pretty useless now. Its been sitting in my drawer for the past 2 years or so and I just refuse to dump it away. I don't think its anything wrong, just that it holds some special significance to me. Just that it makes me feel like something magical did happen to me before and I should feel lucky. Its not the end that matters, anyway.

---

Anyhow, I am finally blogging because I'm kind of sick of mugging. Second day into reading week and I'm so sick of it already. Wonder where my motivation and drive went. Only managed to finish revision for 1 mod and my papers are starting in less than one week's time. I really wonder whats the whole point of getting a high CAP, period. Afterall, I've yet to get any internship, any exchange (okay cuz I didn't apply for SEP in the first place and tried for SUSEP instead.....), any scholarship. Uhh, so, 4As, 2nd upper, uh hur? Thing is everyone is doing just as well or rather even better. Sometimes I really can't help but feel demoralised and inferior. But truth remains, never good enough. Best thing is, instead of fixing it, I'm feeling dejected instead. Hmm.

One of my groupmates told me "HEY! You're one of us! We love building sandcastles in the air!"Not sure about them, but I know myself. Yeah, all fluff and nothing concrete comes up. All the supposed-to-be beautiful happy endings. Never quite created by me. They remain as my imagination, my fantasy. My skills, my discipline, just not good enough to complement what I envision.

Okay, 'nuff of depressing stories of my life. Here's to the end of lects and tutorials for my year2 sem1!
(I have no idea how long I can hold on. Really need to make sure I get my next SUSEP application through. Freaking need a long break.)

2011-10-24T02:40:00.000+08:00

If I lose you, baby Just like the clouds My eyes will do the same if you walk away Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain

2011-10-13T00:43:00.003+08:00

I am extremely saddened to have such thoughts crossing my mind.

But it really grossed me out. I was disgusted.

I don't know if you've always been like this or its because of what could have happened over the last couple of years.

If its the former, I truly am disgusted by myself instead.

I really wonder what I used to be thinking. Why was I so stupid, gullible.

It bothered me each time I see it.

However, its slightly heartening to know I eventually know I should leave.

Think I have never neglect my blog for such a long time before. Never knew I'll one day be so busy I wouldn't have time for blogging! Miss sec sch dayz where I can blog multiple times a day hahahah! Life was ~~easy~~ easier.

Its been a week since mid terms are over. Lesser projects this sem compared to less, meaning more exams/tests to work on. Well, I took 5 weeks (yes, more than a month) to completely get into the back-to-school mood since year2 started. Goodness graciousssss me. Too much fun during the last summer haha.

The decision to take up the position in HnF in school indeed is an experience. The reason why I enjoy getting myself busy is the satisfaction I get when I know I accomplished something. I hate it when I have a post but I have nothing to do, nothing to accomplish. I really hate that. Though some people may be happy with that, additional boost to resume by adding in the title but did nothing in practice, I feel otherwise. Or perhaps, I just hate it that I feel empty. Anyway back to the point, I managed to seal the first deal yesterday :) Can't remember the last time I felt this satisfied. More to come and I am really looking forward to them.

Other than all that, school has been mundane and depressing.

Depressing.

There would be days I'd leave home hanging my head low, with a slight heartache as if I've lost something I once treasured.

But I guess its okay, I've always been strong enough to face such mild pains. It goes away in notime, I'm certain.

We gain some, we lose some. Much as I don't wish to lose anything, anyone, somehow it just happens. Even if I have no idea how, we'll just face it and move on. Thats the harsh reality, no?

Enough of school. Can't get more boring.

On a lighter note, there's this one thing I've accomplished with my boy

My first 10km.

Would never thought of/did it if it wasn't for him. Started running regularly (not that regularly at times) few years back because I was obsessed with losing weight. I'd skip meals, walk home from school (which usually takes like 50min), go running around the track, etc. Freak, I was skinnier than I am now. Back to the point, despite that, I've never ever thought I could run more than 3km (yeah at least its more than 2.4km right?). But now I did. Okay maybe just the first 9km, I was dying towards the end but at least I completed it. Enough for me, I'm easily satisfied. And all can't be done without him, ♥.

After multiple failures, I came to realise one thing.

The key to be with the one you love for a long time is to fall in love with the same person over and over again.

Judging from how young our relationship is, perhaps I'm not in the best position to comment about that. But at least I know at the end of the day, you'll always be the one I'll go back to. That completes my life.

2011-09-13T20:42:00.002+08:00

It kind of hit me that in uni, we never really have classmates -- people who will be in all lessons with you all day, 5 days a week.
This ag system is making us complacent and giving us this false idea that we wouldn't be alone in class.

Fact is, one day we'll all part, because we're all unique individuals with different preferences. We imagine our uni differently, and we will plan it from there. Never because we want to be with our ag mates.

Now that we're in year two sem 1, we try hard to bid for same mods, ballot for same tutorials, sit tgt in lectures. But recently, talked to a couple of peers who told me the same thing, "We'll all split eventually." Which is true.

Let year one be the awesome year. At least 1/4 of my uni life, I weren't lonely.
I've planned ahead already. I know what I want to do next sem, and I'm all prepared to be alone for at least half of my mods. Not that I can't get used to it, just that I'll be looking forward to school for other reasons than friends soon.

A friend of mine always ask me the same qns, "do you think you will find true friendship in uni?"

2011-09-01T22:01:00.002+08:00

I feel like I have no free days for myself anymore.
Schoolwork's getting heavier. Perhaps because I haven't been consistent since week one. But omg, really, everyone was still busking in the orientation atmosphere. I just couldn't adjust after so much fun.
Not to mention, our ag split up and its clear we're all going different paths now. People taking spec mods, minor mods, diff set of core mods, etc. Getting closer with people from other ag after all the fops. As a result, we spend much lesser time together in school anymore. But perhaps this is the real uni life, where we don't see the same few people everyday, every lect, every tutorial.
Weekends are filled to the brim, considering the amount of tutorials I have to prepare and the time I'll want to take out to spend time with people important to me.
And now, after my decision to take on another commitment, I wonder where did the time for myself have gone to.
After all these while in school, I realise I ain't that good. Not smart enough, not fun-loving enough, just simply not good enough. Demoralising, but true. Future seems bleak, sadly.

I can't stay positive all the time. I can't be smiling and laughing all the time, as I'd like, as my friends would see me as. There are low times too and all I need is time alone to think through everything. But, I need the time.
Regardless, I still know clearly that I'm thankful for everything I have now. I have more than what I deserve already.

2011-09-01T01:55:00.001+08:00

Its like an old wound reopened.
New memories replace the old, but they never disappear. They are just stored somewhere at the back of our minds and will always appear if you ever recall them.

Pain never ever goes away.

2011-08-22T15:48:00.003+08:00

Was doing some work till I really want to figure out what truly happened to myself last night, and I found these.

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1740

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

This is seriously scary and it happened to me twice already??

Pray hard it'll never happen again :(

2011-08-14T15:19:00.004+08:00

My friends know I don't club.
But within two months, I went for two clubbing events.
Thats the end, though. I really don't quite like it? Haha.
Jam n Hop was spent with
1. Heading down to zouk with zohan friends

And met friends from my AG at the entrance.
2. Cheering for our pageant contestants with merlin freshies and seniors

3. Drinking with Dong/LiJiong's ag at holiday inn

4. Dancefloor with anyone I saw whom I know

5. Lester sent me right to my doorstep

I was still pretty sober but under the effects of alcohol, I still fell into my emo state. Guess I can't escape that.

2011-08-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

It makes me kind of sad.
Suddenly I feel so jaded. Just going through the motion as if I know whats gonna happen next.

After knowing what happened, I guess deep inside, there are some scars that will never go away.

I just need to prove myself wrong, once. And I swear this is the last chance I'm giving myself. All or none.

Its just that suddenly there's this sharp pain that feels so familiar. My stomach is churning, my mind is empty.

2011-08-10T14:41:00.017+08:00

Oweek is oooooover ): So is summer. That was it, the end of my 3mth hols and the last camp of my life. I got to say I did not regret joining oweek at all :)

In details..
Pre-camp on saturday was spent with a briefing in the morn, ushering freshmen into the LT and their briefing + games. Sigh I think I scared some freshmen while ushering them. I guess I was too friendly and zi-high? ): Sad!! Joined hannah's og for games but didnt quite enjoy the games?? Hahaha maybe becuz everyone was blur with the rules of the games!! But its nice talking to the freshies :) Watched twisted with jeanle that evening. Omg cui show, but still, great company :)

Day0 on sunday was spent sorting out tshirts, preparing for the games, cutting up confetti and knowing more people from ocomm :) All the friendly people, so easy to mix around with! Big bang rehearsal was funny as well :) Ate chicken rice during the rehearsal. Omg it was the most awesome chicken rice ever?? But it was tooooo filling!! Slept in SR that night after stalking the pageant people on our laptops. Haha!

Woke up bright and early on day1 to usher freshies in again. Once more, I looked like a retard once more. It was talks the whole day, while Althea and I tried to do up our scoreboard. Some hiccups here and there for the camp but everything still turned out fine eventually. Opening by the Dean was.. Uh, as usual, boring (haha :x). Had to sell maybank card during the academic roadshow. Omg seriously, the juniors think we get commission for selling them. We have no choice ): Sad. Managed to get a few but ohwell! Cleaning up the confetti thereafter sucks big time! Never knew mrb was so huge until then! But evryone helped so it wasn't that bad! :) CORS bidding tutorial was pretty interesting, have to say David did a great presentation. Haha, the freshies were really attentive!! The og I was attached too were awesome, most of them did their bidding already, while some just had issues becuz they are usp/ddb/transfer students. So there was nth much I can do to help?? Haha except advice some of them which gem/ss not to take. Haa =/ Big bang then commenced :) The performances were totally awesome! And Althea's opening video was way beyond awesome! Love the night and hope I was of some help with the music, video, all!!Arcus!!
All the clan heads and main comm singing :D

I cant remember what happened after big bang?? Hahaha I guess helped to clean up, etc. Later into the night, I went to look for Jiten and other buccaneers people. Surprised to see Ben and Jin Yeuu around too! With, obviously, alcohol. Sat around and started playing drinking game with them. Xavier was the only freshie drinking with us, how sad!!! So apparently he got arrowed quite badly haha!Both of us ended up pretty high, and yeah, only both of us were high. Thanks to my lousy luck at drinking games.Hannah:D
Before that, I had to crawl to my LT to get my sleeping bag. Jiten went with me and otw, we met 2 freshies bidding on cors. Haha talked to them, got their names and swore we weren't drunk and would recognise them the next day! Super sporting freshies. Died in their LT that night, while laughing at some idiot who was snoring mega loudly!!

Woke up on day2 with slight headache. Drank coffee even before brushing my teeth cuz I was dying! ): Talks in the morning while we prepare for the dirty games at SRC! :)

Was station master for slide and serve with NingRui!! Its quite fun watching ppl slideeee and serve (haha???)! Had fun splashing water on freshies too since well, makes it easier for them to slide right! How sweet :)Spent the entire afternoon there, talking to the guys cuz the girls were at the other end of SRC!! Almost died when Yorick's og decided to throw me up into the air thrice just to get bonus points from me. Ohhhmygosh. I thought I was going to fall and die! Ended the evening with cleaning up the canvas sheets. Omg the food twister's canvas sheet was dirty and stinky!! ): Thereafter, we carried pails and pails of water to clean up the courts. That was when I realised how unfit and useless I am ): But well, thanks to the girls' words of encouragement!! At least at the end of it all, we were rewarded with awesome vegetarian food!! Omg we totally love it, its damn awesome!!!! Been craving for it since dryrun!! Omg craving for it once more. Anybody wanna go have some vegetarian at balestier wimmeeee!!!!!
Ended off the night with a brief for flag and amazing race day. Thanks, I was sleeping during the briefing, I AM SORRY but I was really mega sleepy!!! BUT after that, got a redbull and started playing card games with the safety team, aka GuoHwee, HoYin, Weili and Rayna! Brenda joined us for awhile too :D Was sucha loser??? I didn't win a single game the entire night and yes, we played till 7am haha!!

So thats day3. Went to the LT to help with dispatching the first batch of freshies. Thereafter, nap for 2hours, and went over to the other LT to help out! Decided to head down for flag with Hannah's og cuz she looked super unhappy ): Idk why! So went down all the way to sengkang with her!! Stayed around with Jiten and Hannah for abit, then left at 5pm. Homez, dinner, napped and off to school again!!!
Ocomm supper at al amine after briefing!! Yay :) Went there in David's car, omggg I swear the ride to and fro was far more exciting than the mummy ride in USS!! Haha! MEGA dangerous driver!!!!
Plain naan, butter chicken, cheese fries! All for 5 girls :)
HAHA greedy max. ITS DAMN NICE BUT FATTENINGGGGG!
After we came back from supper, everyone helped me out with hanging the scoreboards:) Super touched!! I know they were sleepy and tired and they can always choose to go and sleep, but they decided to help! Thankful for them!! :)
Quite sure I slept that night because we know the next 2 days are aweeesome :)

Day4 was amazing race, set off in the late morning to stadium with NingRui once more!! Our wonderful station is called Octopusy! Main point of it is to get the freshies tangled up and look retarded. Haha! It was fun! Except the fact that NingRui and I were dying of hunger while waiting for the teams to come because we have no idea when they will reach!! Sad. Haha.
Back to school early because the teams came in pretty early :) Happy!
Sharetea at the end of the day :) Love the sponsor!!!
Back to biz in the evening for dont forget the lyrics! Omg everyone was singing, high and all. Esp when they were playing "Where I Belong" hahaha!! Like everyone knows that song! I think it was mega successful!!! :D Love it!!!
That night, the entire school became like a powerhouse, ohgosh. Every room was like a club, alcohol everywhere. Its scary!!! While Keith, JianYang and KianSin were helping NingRui and I to update the scoreboards :) Nice people!! Tried to find Sneha but to no avail ): Bumped into Hannah and her og instead, so joined them for the night! Mostly, to accompany Hannah (since her og was drinking, just like the rest) and anw I couldn't sleep after drinking the redbull ): Left at around 4plus in the morning, lent Xavier my sleeping bag while I head back to the LT for bridge with ZhiQuan, CaiLing and NingRui :D Surprised that many comm members were still awake either drinking or playing card games!!! We then decided to sleep at around 6odd so we wouldn't die at sentosa the next day. had to share a sleeping bag with CaiLing that night in the ops room. Le sigh, too nice a senior I am! Haha thank you CaiLing!!! :D

Woke up a couple of hours later and set off to sentosa! Woohoo! Last day of the camp and it has got to be the most exciting day :D

Was station master for worms together with Brenda :) Its awesome seeing people run to Brenda and dunk her!! Haha!! It feels horrible to be standing under the sun though, waiting for teams to come for the game. A little tension here and there but all went well after that!! Got dunked twice too, I guess no one can escape that!! But I would have to say Keith and Jiten really caught me by surprise!! Javin was helping them too. Worst part was, they forgot I can't swim, ohgosh. Haha all in the name of fun!
Lunch was crappy but we were hungry.. Cheerfight thereafter, and I have to say the ocomm did a good pre-cheerfight dance! Haha! Coolio! :D All the clans were awesome during the cheerfight as well :) Enjoyed it much!!
Washed up anddd it was finale!! :D

All the pretty babes :) Yay!
Got to say I was slightly disappointed with wavehouse but the night just gets better!!
Dicky came to perform! He was damn awesome!!!! :D

After the beer toast, everyone was slightly higher. Everyone hit the dance floor after the performances ended! Met random people from everywhere and I guess drinking really brings people together yah?Said bye to Ocomm as they head back to school while I joined the Merlin people in a room they booked right opposite wavehouse!! Had a short HTHT then and slept. We were that tired!!!
Checked out and had macs for brunch. Thereafter, went home and crashedddd hahaha!! Ultimately good week :)

But it doesn't end there!
Because we had so much fun and we just can't get enough, we had Oweek encore on sunday night at pasir ris chalet!
Went with Dorlisa and Simone, and we were greeted by the drunkards the moment we reached. I crashed and died a couple of hours later. But I'm thankful the more sober guys were taking care of me haha.
Super alot of people were there, ocomm, clan heads, ogls.
Dorlisa and Simone! :D
CaiLingggggg! :D
Wheeeee!
Was super noisy when I died and I was freezing ): It was so cold ):
Slept for a couple of hours, woke up and found the safety people sitting downstairs! Haha, went to get macs bfast with GuoHwee while waiting for the rest to get up.
After another couple of hours, Keith woke up and we started laughing over everything. Macs bfast again once everyone were up and checked out at 10am :)

Waited for JeanLe for abit and managed to catch captain america!! Sadly, I don't get the show. Either I was too sleepy or it just wasn't my type of show. Roamed around and went Farrer Park for lunch :) Totally satisfied my craving and I'm so so happy about it! You scored a goal, JeanLe 1 - 0 Cynthia.
Homez and crashed for 13hours before waking up to rag day!!
Flew to school, caught the bus and off to Marina Bay Promontory!

Bizad won the chancellor's shield once again :) The hall rag was mega awesome!! Saw Timothy and Keefe, they looked extremely happy to be part of the rag dance!! :)
Left for dinner with my parents, had a good one and rested early!

Interview this morning was really quite bad, considering the interviewers took real long to decide if they shld accept the guy before me. Demoralising, once more. I'm just going through the motion, hoping for the best. This is not gonna work ): One last chance tmr! Sigh.
Brunch at mos today plus a short chat. Makes me realise how young and innocent everyone used to be. Sadly, we've changed.

That concludes the last week + last few days of my hols!! Interview again tmr, and school starts on fri for me ):
CAN'T WAIT FOR DECEMBERRRRRRR!!!!

2011-07-31T02:22:00.002+08:00

Tired and busy.
Oweek starts tmr! Excited, surely!
But I feel so tired and disheartened at times.
Sometimes I really think there's something wrong with me and I'm just so so so indecisive. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

Talked to my crescents girlies (Jeanne, Weiling, Ashley and JoyceNg) last night over dinner. Omg so all boys are really either blockheads or jerks. And I realised I've learnt everything the hard way way too young hahahha. I've gotton heartless way too soon. Sometimes I feel like I've lost myself, and I wish I'm still as gullible and stupid. Like I've said, I'd rather be hurt than hurt someone else. Guess I've built the walls too high, too strong.
On the other hand, I ought to stop expecting so much from others and start expecting more from myself instead. At least I have the onus of determining how much I can give, but I can't control how much others can give to me. I really need to do something and quit mopping. I need to stay positive. I need to stop the crazy thoughts from popping into my mind. I need to remind myself constantly and I shall be fine.

2011-07-29T13:37:00.002+08:00

Past three days had been awesome, working for an events company for the launch of STAR and the conference/workshops, etc. Tiring, but fun, and at the same time, gained insights of how a small events company can survive.

I may have helped out in loads of events in school, etc, so I always thought its fun and fulfilling etc. I've considered working for a events company and even perhaps set up a small one on my own. But now I realised, as the events company, things are slightly different. It becomes your responsibility and you've got to follow your clients' instructions entirely. In a way, the company is like a third party that merely provides staff for them to scream at and order around. So I clearly see less joy and pride in it. Furthermore, because its not a big company, they hire more interns/contract staff than full timers. Even if there are fulltimers, the turnover rate is so high. So there is an issue of commitment, experience and team cohesiveness.

I was quite puzzled by how it can survive for sooo many years when their staff changes so regularly, and the intern told me, "Survive is can survive lah, but cannot progress and expand lor!" And everyone laughed. But its true. So whats the whole point struggling through the years?

My sister was asking me what I want to major in, what I want to do after graduation, etc. Stepping into sophomore year, think I really should make up my mind already.

On a side note... I'm glad I met really awesome people these three days. At least I had fun working and slacking with them!

2011-07-24T21:11:00.007+08:00

I remember there was once, during one of the BFS lesson, the woman conducting the course was giving us examples of interview qns. One of (the dumb) qns were, tell me something you regret doing. So I cheekily (as usual) turn around and asked my friend, "So.. Tell me something you regret doing!"

"Like, interview qns? Or just a casual qns?"

"A casual qns!"

"Hmm. I wonder what would happen if I'm still with my ex."

Thing is, they broke up years ago.

Its not that she still has feelings for him. But he was her first. And, everyone alr knows, first love is always memorable. (Or at least, the one that feels like the first.) One don't need to still have feelings for him/her to think about that same qns. The culprits are the promises that were made when they together in the past.

The promised future which can't happen in real life, wouldn't you be curious if it'll really happen if things did not turn bad? Perhaps life would be better or perhaps worse. But no one will know the answer because its not possible anymore. Its a sad thought but I guess my friend's probably not bothered by it anymore since the future's more important now, right :)

The past week has been pretty awesome. Last week to go before oweek, 2 more before school starts. Managed to meet Kay and Edwyna and had a good time catching up. Sadly, Pearlyn and Amelia couldn't join us! And that was the day Edwyna and I were shocked when we learnt who was the mind behind CORS. ): Anw, ramen at nantsuttei with them and it was too salty ): The noodles were good though. Caught wuxia at marina too. Love all donnie yen shows though it was abit gross... No wonder its NC16. It was really awesome though! We went for choc melts and macs icecream after that :) Had a good chat about people we know. A few years do change some people yah. For the better or worse. I'm glad I'm still in contact with crescent people :)

Matric fair on friday was pretty alright. Only a few hours for us since biz freshies are all there during that few hours. Was collecting camp fees together with these girls :) I really meet alot of nice people through oweek. No regrets joining! But ohwell, I was silly enough to logon to fb infront of Rebecca. She saw the fb event and msgs about her surprise bday ): So.. She kind of knows about her bday surprise alr ): Sigh ohwell!!!
Sweechoon with Hannah and Rebecca after that. Yummy food, good company :) Really kind of upset Hannah's taking diff mods from us ): Idk why the sch is doing that!! Sigh ohwell. But I'm prob taking one mod with her so.. Ohwell. ): Hope we drift apart after that. Well then again if we do drift apart.. We can't do a thing right. So I'll just got to make sure we don't before its too late. I really treasure the friends whom I can talk to in uni. Its so difficult to find friends who are real when we're already in uni, see. Some people make friends with you for the sake of networking, knowing more people hoping they will be useful to you in future. So to friends in uni in whom I can feel their sincerity, I really treasure them. Hannah's definitely one of them :)
Anw back to the point, dim sum there was pretty awesome. We ate so much!! Or so I thought. The food is pretty yummy. The chilli wantons and xlb are my fav :D
Went back to citysquare mall to rot around after that and look what we've done!

Haha. I really have cute friends. We even put in the one dollar coin and started playing haha!

Sat was Rebecca's surprise bday party. One of the first few to reach and waited for quite some time before she finally arrived! While waiting, we just chat, roamed ard her huge house, talked to her parents, played some drinking games with her og friends and all. Pretty enjoyable! But wished more people came ):

Her dad made sure there were booze for the party. Haha how hapz, idk how he's always drinking?? Damn cool.
Anw she finally came, in blindfold, and her friends brought her to walk around her estate before bringing her back in. She looked happy when she took off her blindfold and saw all of us. I hope she really is!! Aww, sweetest couple!!! :D
Finally had dinner and sang her a bday song :) The bday cake was cupcakes so everyone gets one each! Its really pretty though!
Anw I ended up like this
because..
1. Ate too much deepfried food for dinner
2. Drank too quickly (Gary made me finished one cup like in 10s)
3. Too lousy in caiquan
Fml max, think I was really embarrassing. I feel so bad to Rebecca and Hannah ):
Regina and I were the only ones who were puking ): All cai-quan's fault!!
Anw, Rebecca went hunting for her present which we hid it somewhere in her house. Haha but she's so smart, ofcuz she found it. Really glad we thought of getting her a polaroid cuz she likes it so much! Guess the disney film made her happy too :) Haha she was so happy she finished all 10films that very night with her family and friends! Such a sweet girl!! :)
Yay :)

Talked to a friend recently and realised, sometimes we girls just expect too much. That makes our lives sad. Then again, its somehow natural for us to do so. That makes disappointments inevitable. Sometimes its the smallest things that matters to us.

Then again... We both agreed its the change and how it takes time for us to adapt to it.

I can't give good advice because I'm too pessimistic in some ways. But hope things will go well for them ♥

2011-07-21T00:36:00.001+08:00

Can 2 attached people of opposite genders be really close? So close they do almost everything tgt and meet up more than they do with their own partners. And they barely know each other for 3 months. Hmm.

Strrrrrange.

2011-07-20T00:42:00.003+08:00

Been rotting around too much!!

After work ended, I did practically nothing!!
Rotting everyday, spending because I have nothing better to do, eating eating and more eating, etc! ):
This is so bad and I feel so lazy.
To comfort myself a little.. I've been working hard for oweek, especially since my head is out of town, I had to attend the main comm meeting for her, do up all the editing etc which I weren't initially allocated etc. Not complaining since its the bare minimum I can do to make myself feel more useful! Besides, I do enjoy working with the people in the comm. They're really nice :)

But well, now that my break is coming to an end, I can gladly conclude it was surely a good break. Work for a month, foc, oweek prep, catching up with friends, rest and most importantly spending alot more time with my family.

Its not until recently that I realised my parents are really aging. With age catching up, random minor age-related illnesses are coming to visit. The thought of it scares me eventhough its supposed to be normal and expected. But sometimes I think I'm somewhat over-reliant on my parents. I have friends who are already financially independent, both males and females. But here I am, still shamelessly sticking out my hand for pocket money. Their needs vs my wants, sometimes I really need to think before I make any decision.

My friends always ask why I didn't apply for exchange despite my reasonable cap which can probably send me to loads of exciting countries for six months. Reason being, I can't stand the thought of leaving home for 6 months to a faraway country without my parents. Not so much because I need them to take care of me but more of not being able to share the joy with them and they had to be left alone at home. Especially so now that my sister has moved out. I don't know if its silly to give up this opportunity to experience but I really can't bring myself to do that. Much as I want to, it just don't feel right. Times like these, just think about how much they've sacrificed just for me. Perhaps I'm making it sound like a great deal when its probably not. But thats just me.

Recently, I've been getting abit too sensitive and emotional. It hasn't happen for quite sometime and I'm wondering what could have gone wrong. I snap at anyone for the slightest thing, etc. Sigh, its bad ): Then again, sometimes, its the smallest things that matters. The smallest things that make or break us.

Anw, last saturday I attended my cousin's wedding. It was a church wedding so it was pretty long and half the time idk what was happening. Afterall, I'm not a beliver right? But we still got to respect. Knowing how they met each other, it makes me feel like perhaps it really helps not to give up on love.

♥!

2011-07-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

While everybody else is getting out of bed
I’m usually getting in it
I’m not in it to win it
And there’s a thousand ways you can skin it
My feet have been on the floor
Flat like an idle singer
Remember winger
I digress
I confess you are the best thing in my life
But I’m afraid when I hear stories
About a husband and wife
There’s no happy endings
No Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me

If it’s love
And we decide that it’s forever
No one else could do it better
If it’s love
And we’re two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
And if I’m addicted to loving you
And you’re addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, Love
That’s enough for me

Took a loan on a house I own
Can’t be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy ya everything
Except cologne
’cause it’s poison
We can travel to Spain where the rain falls

Mainly on the plain side and sing
’cause it is we can laugh we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything
Hold our cell phones up in the air
And just be glad we made it here alive
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to your face

You can move in
I won’t ask where you’ve been
’cause everybody has a past
When we’re older
We’ll do it all over again
When everybody else is getting out of bed
I’m usually getting in it
I’m not in it to win it
I’m in it for you

2011-07-04T01:13:00.002+08:00

We could have had the world,

but some people are just not meant to be.
They'll just remain in the special spaces in your hearts as people whom you will remember.
But life goes on, and we move on.

I feel kind of upset but I don't know why. Guess I'm just feeling bad and guilty. But that's that.
Now that I've made mistakes, realised my mistakes and know how to stop myself from making similar mistakes, I'm just gonna do what I feel is right.

2011-06-30T13:47:00.002+08:00

Yst I turned twenty.
Yst I had the best surprise.
Yst I did something for the first time.
Yst was probably one of my best birthdays.

And I love everyone who made it so awesome :)
By giving me the surprises, by wishing me in the funniest ways, by cooking with me, by not giving me work to do because its my birthday, etc.
This is the year I feel really loved and I really appreciate it. And I will reciprocate in the best way I can!
♥

It means so much to me. Because this time, its for real. You've successfully infiltrated my entire life -- my family, my friends.

2011-06-28T22:49:00.002+08:00

If all I do is take and never give......

A random thought that got onto me while walking home after my run today. It seems like I've stop giving since a long time ago. All I do is receive and minimal giving. I don't think thats very nice of me and i ought to do something about it, right?

Sincerity. Love. And tons of smiles :)

2011-06-25T00:19:00.003+08:00

Back from foc'11 :)

Shag like mad, slept so little every night. But its all worth it!

Signed up as councillor for this camp and was allocated to Merlin (yeah I know it sounds like a fish/merlion but merlin's a wizard!), which happens to be the best OG ever :)

Justin, Rachel, Kelvin and I were the seniors for the 18 freshies plus 1 fake freshie, WeiXin.

Pre-camp on sat was kind of awkward, since its the first time we meet one another. Thats the day us seniors had to throw away out shy personality and attempt to get high while playing games. It went pretty well, have to say Justin did a great job as an ogl. Did up our wargame lollipop together with King Arthur (Edward's og, and it so happen that Eunice was in that og too! Happy!) and everyone was justttt soooo shyyy haha.

Day 0 on sunday where seniors all had to stay over in sch to prepare for day1 where freshies will report in the morning. Didn't do much that night except briefing and trying to think of games and cheers for them. Had to sleep in the LT that night since the hall wasn't available yet. And anw, I wasn't allocated a room!

Woke up at 6odd in the morning of Day1. We were all freezing in the lt and we didnt even slept well that night ); Its kind of sad. Freshies started streaming in at 7odd, and we started talking to them :) Quite a lousy morning since it started with talks, just as last year. Its so boring! What a way to start a camp. We seniors ofcuz escaped and went for breakfast instead.

Lunch was early, they then moved in to hall, and prepared for station games in the afternoon! Was station master with JinHui for the afternoon meaning, I get to say hi to all 14 ogs that very afternoon! Yay :D Got to join my og after that for 2nd set of games. They are really awesome, I have to say. They won so many games! So unlike my zohan days where we lose all 7 games haha! Even my freshies couldn't believe how any og can lose all games when I told them abt it. Dinner-ed after that and it was finally SP time :D :D :D Thats one of the reason why FOC is exciting. Last year it was getting blindfolded and talking to someone I have no idea how he looks like. This year its disturbing the freshies when they don't even know whats happening. But got to say it was quite screwed up as 2 of my freshies had no SP (due to the lack of girls...) and it took 3hrs for the SP games omg. Its way too long and draggy. Felt really really bad for Keefe (one of the freshie who doesnt have an SP) as he already knows abt this game. Had to lie to him by getting Althea to be a fake SP but ): He's quite a smart guy. Supper auction and sheares chicken after that :) Haha our og decided to not bid and save up our points! Managed to bid for curry and rice for quite a low bid point. Then again, sheares chicken was pure awesome! Anyhow, they finally get to sleep by 1 odd in the morning, and Rachel and I managed to get a room thanks to those who pulled out of the camp at the eleventh hour. Yay :) We had to share a bed but thats fine. We were really tired so we just knocked out by the time we get to bed.

Day 2 was sentosa day! :) Amazing race in the morning, but really, its so tiring because it was way too sunny. Where are all my clouds! We went back an hour late for some reason haha I think we were last. But its fine cuz it was still fun! Lunch-ed and it was the revealing of fake freshie! Well, the girls felt cheated cuz WeiXin made them say some stuff which are meant to be secrets haha! Supposed to be dunking of fake freshies, have no idea why only Kelvin and Justin went to dunk her! So I went to get the bigger guys (aka Nic, SengWei, Keefe, SengWei) in the og to dunk her. But who knows why, they decided to dunk me instead omg. Great job, should have kept my mouth shut! But its good because they started dunking all the girls in our og! Thats how we get the wet games started :)

More wet station games on the beach thereafter! Quite sad that I couldn't join them, in the first place I shouldnt even get into the water! Felt really gross after the dunking eventhough it was fun! We still won quite a few games :) Wargame after that. Nice protecting our lollipop, but i have no idea why we didn't win! Waterbomb-ing was fun though! Dinner-ed and washed up with Rachel and the few guys. We took the tram back from palawan to siloso via the long route. It was nice though, talking to all of them about sch, abt foc'10 and everything else. The long ride dried up wet hair too :D Bought icecream from macs too yay! Thereafter its our favourite SP time again :D This time round, we get them to feed each other the snack they brought! Its really quite fun and this year I finally get to watch the fireworks! Missed it last year because I was blindfolded ): Stole some of their snacks too haha since anw they can't see us :D Eventually, SengWei gave us his entire box of cranberries! Rachel and I ate most of it and now I feel sick even thinking abt cranberries haha! Back to school by 11ish and they get to sleep by then. Though its a good time for supper but we really encouraged them not to, but we couldn't tell them why. Us seniors stayed up to rehearse our cheerfight. After that, the 4 of us continued staying up to write them short messages that we planned to give them after the morning activity. That night, we slept for a mere 2hour.

Woke up at 4-ish on day 3 to get ready for the freshman initiation. Basically, we woke them up from their sweet dreams at 5am when they didn't expect it, and blindfold them. Thereafter, bring them out to the carpark and got them dirty and wet! Rolling in baked beans etc, cracking eggs onto them, smearing butter, jam, peanut butter on them and pouring ice cold water onto them but not washing off the dirty stuff on their body! All of them really stink after that and stupid SengWei dirtied my hands when I was leading him around since all of them were blindfolded. After they gone through that, we settled them at an open area, while we prepare ourselves for the cheerfight. Once their blindfold was off, Gary and Earnest led us in the cheerfight. I feel kind of bad since half the time I don't know what the lyrics are. Would have to admit our seniors did it much better than us -- much more impactful and scary. Bizad medley at the end of it :) Its the only time when you feel the connection with the school. A quick washup after that and they get to eat macs breakfast! A slight screwup as vegetarians don't get the macs bfast. Just nice, we have one in our og (Javin). So we decided to buy him waffles from the new drinks stall instead! Bus-ed over to src for dirty games! We felt quite bad for the bus uncle though, cuz we stink up the entire bus! The smell of baked beans and eggs... Yucks. And it was during the bus journey when Li Jiong asked if dance&jam was fun. It really cracked us up because he mixed up jam&hop and dinner&dance! The guys in Merlin are really such jokers. Won quite alot of the dirty games too! :D The subway game was the same as the one we played last year and I swear, this game is really the gross-est I've ever seen. I feel like puking even thinking abt it!! Yucks! Bought 3tins of redondo and 2 packs of malteases for them after the games :) Lunch back at biz and shared the yummy snacks with them! Talks for them = sleeping time for us! Didn't sleep though, we were just bumming around. When it was time for them to start on their imovie, we were trying to upload pictures from the camera to the laptops so they can use the pics we have (which ppl usually do). But there were some screwup with the cam/memory card so they had to work without the photos! I felt really sad and useless at that point of time, thinking there's nothing we can do abt it and they were still working so hard on it. Part of it becuz 25ipod shuffles are at stake for a good imovie! Love their spirit though, for they film everything using their iphone. The girls worked on cheers for the cheer competition the next day too! Feel really proud of them :) After dinner, it was SP revelation. Its reallyyyy fun because the girls get to look at their SP first while they make the guys do stupid stuff when they are still blindfolded! E.g SengWei ended up topless, Cheryl's SP ended up doing pushups while Jinhui sat on him, etc! The girls had a good laugh, ofcuz! It was different from mine last year cuz mine was the guys took off their blindfold first and had to guess which of us is their SP. Well, I would be happier if I were the freshie this year! Hahah. Then it was the romance walk aka nightwalk. Had to be at the staircase to guide them but omg the staircase was quiet and freaky. I was so afraid I'll be the one getting frightened by them instead! Thank goodness there was a fellow guide, YuDa, at the staircase but one floor above me! At least there was company. We were there for 5hours, omg, guiding tons of couples and attempting to scare them. I did, for some of them :D But YuDa totally freaked me out and I screamed so loudly omg its so embarrassing.... When Ivan came up and told us there's one last couple, I hid and wanted to scare them. But I ended up scaring myself because the one coming to the stairs was Marcus (who dressed up as a ghost) who walked past!! Apparently I scared him too haha! Kind of fail but still funny! Went back to lt after that and saw my freshies filming for the imovie. They were really so dedicated and it was already 1-ish in the morning!! Felt so so bad about it ): They then stayed up to do the imovie, while the girls stayed on to work on the cheers. We ordered supper for them -- Al-amin! Naan + butter chicken. Awesome much :) Best supper with funniest people! Rachel and I got really high at around 3-ish due to lack of sleep and the food haha. The 4 of us stayed up to give them some moral support (since we couldn't do a thing and we'll feel bad going back to sleep in our rooms). Rachel and Kelvin fell aslp in the lt first, then it was me followed by Justin. It was a short nap, and I was woken up at 4-ish when Javin said "Just hit the delete button!" haha and its because they had finished working on the imovie and was wondering how to save it. Told them I'll take care of the laptops and make sure their hardwork will be exported. After they went back to their halls to sleep, I went back to nap again while waiting for the movie to be exported. Woke up at 5-ish to shutdown the laptops and woke Rachel and Justin up. We went back to our halls to sleep and all we can afford is a one hour nap ): I could hear myself talking when I sleep, I have no idea why but its the first time I did that!

Woke up at 6-ish on day 4, that last day of the camp! Everyone looked really really tired. Thank goodness there was lightning alert and pool games were cancelled :D Quite a pity though cuz poolgames should be really fun for them! They slept in the lt after breakfast while the seniors went to the canteen for some gossiping haha. They then started learning and rehearsing for their cheer competition. Its a 5min cheer and I'm very very proud of them for coming up with the cheer entirely by themselves! I rmb KaiLi was the one coming up with most of our cheers last year =/ Anw, did the oweek cheer and started promoting oweek too! Yay :D I actly cant wait for oweek! Cheer competition went on well. There are some OGs which were really good! Though ours was abit fail, it was still funny and I hope they enjoyed it nonetheless! Love their "Don't scared, just do only" spirit! Hope they felt more empowered after the 4 of us shouted that for them before their cheer :) Changed and left for soul for our finale! Fell asleep and looked really unglam in the bus. Hope noone saw =/ Reached soul, looking unglamorous wearing dresses and shirts but with our huge backpacks and sleeping bags haha! But it was good, much better than last year's. At least each og had a place to sit and gather, all of us could see the screen and stage, and dinner was pure good. Buffet dinner with enough food, yay! Best part of the day, Merlin won the best imovie! Whee! And its really worth it becuz they stayed up till 4-ish in the morning to finish it!! Without any pre-taken photos! They are awesome this way :) Jagertrain at 9-ish, seriously, who does that! My freshies are really crazy haha. Had the best freshie contestants (Nic!), best SP couple (Jeannette and i-forgot-his-name) and our pageant contestants (Javin and Jeannette) on stage :) After it ended, people started hitting the dancefloor. Decided to join them since it was the right mood with the right people! Left like 2hours after that cuz I was really really tired. They were really awesome though! Cabbed back with ZhiQuan and Marcus, the westies :D All our voices were just strange after 4days of cheering and shouting etc haha.

All in all, it was a wonderful camp because of awesome freshies I have and also the fellow seniors who were with me :) Totally made me miss zohan and foc'10. Oweek will be (probably) the last uni camp I have. Shall treasure it! I actually secretly enjoy going for camps. Its about getting to know strangers better by doing all sort of nonsense with them. Like how I stepped into the lt and it was all dark, I had to run out and ask Rachel to go in with me to look for the switch. I sounded retarded, saying "omg its damn dark i'm scared lah omg why are the lights off. Omg i'm a damn timid woman." And best part was, it was dark becuz there were ppl slping in there and they obviously heard me..... Haha. Okay i know no photos damn boring. Will get the photos up soon :D Now its time to sleepppppp! :)

2011-06-18T00:39:00.002+08:00

Spent good quality time with myself today :) A very good day!

Time to plan my finances too..
): This is the worst time for gss for me, I swear.

Next few weeks seem pretty packed with a camp, a dryrun and outings with my favourites!
Hope my remaining 1.5months of holidays will be well spent before war starts again): With the new curriculum, (probably) new classmates/project mates, level 2000 modules, etcetcetc. I'm really kind of scared ): Please cross fingers I'll still be able to manage my time well..

Till then!!! :)

2011-06-15T22:33:00.004+08:00

Fat me is craving for skinny pizza, my fav bah chor mee, KOI (or sharetea, or kawa, or just azuki milktea!!!), sushi (or rather, jap food in general :D), brownie with icecream, SHEARES CHICKEN, etc...

Really hoping foc has sheares chicky for supper one of the nights :)

On the other hand, maybe I should go running again tmr. Pleaseeee, someone drag my lazy bones out. I'm too stuck on bigbangtheory):

Hatched with the girls yst was much fun. I guess I still feel more comfortable around friends whom I've known for a long time. The last time we met was one month back, before YuQi left for her summer prog.
Crescent days were good days :) Love alllll the girls I know from crescent. Its just nice seeing how all of us have grown up, how much we've changed but still the same fun-loving group of people.

2011-06-13T15:55:00.002+08:00

I'm always always always like that after cleaning up my stuff.
But this time round, I cleared up quite a few stuff out of my locked-up drawer.
That drawer where I keep things that I wouldn't show anyone else.
My diaries, letters/notes from friends/teachers, movie stubs, little gifts from people, etc etc.
Basically, things that are close to my heart.

This time round, however, I've decided to dump a few things away.
Because I've grown to realise how some things are not worth hanging onto, not worth reminding myself of.
Reading some cards/letters/notes still make my heart wrench a little.

Distasteful, inglorious.

2011-06-10T22:06:00.003+08:00

:)
Awesome tanning with Carina today. I think its the first time we met so early, such that we were even in time for breakfast at sentosa!
It was nice lying down, under the sun, talking about our lives. She's a good listener, I have to admit. We had a good long talk today, and it just sets me thinking -- things she went through, things I'm going through, etc.
I'm kind of glad she's happy with her current life and I sincerely hope things will get better for her too :) Its time she enjoy her life a little after getting stuck for a couple of years!

Then it got me thinking for a bit. What is considered a waste of time?
Because there wasn't a good ending so its a waste of time?
To me, I guess, perhaps not. We do things because at that moment, it feels like the right thing to do. So long we believe its right, and we enjoyed what we've done, the ending wouldn't matter, no?
Its only a waste of time when we weren't happy with what we were doing.. No?
Whatever we do, we'll definitely learn a lesson from it. Its just whether its worth all the time and pain, sweat and tears, etc.

And some lessons are just too painful.
I'm just afraid this might just be a lesson for you.

2011-06-07T22:12:00.002+08:00

WHEEEE its the last day of my work today :)
I'm happy that I managed to clear all the stuff I am employed for (and did more than just that) and hopefully they get all the money they ought to soon :)
Glad I met nice colleagues and my manager too! A slightly different culture from my previous workplace. Its more quiet here, less bitchiness (HAHA) and more discipline I think! Haha!! But I prefer a workplace with less of such inflexibility?

And I officially love working in raffles place.
Awesome foodie :)

But anyway, time to move on. 1/3 of my holidays are gone! The remaining shall be reserved for FOPs. Okay I plan to...
1. Go for oweek dry run tmr!!! and in a few weeks' time too!
2. Prepare for foc with my og this weekend + foc in a week's time!
3. Ragging from next week onwards!!
4. GO RUNNING
5. Oweeeeeeeek!
6. Three awesome cycling plans in July :)

Okay whatever it is, I'm just gonna be outdoors most of the time and hopefully I get abit tanner and skinnier. I can't stand my fats anymore..... And I'm way too fair.. Anddddd I'll need to contribute to rag to make myself feel better. Kind of feel obliged to...
Okay :) I think my holidays officially starts tmr!!

Wheeee! :)

2011-06-03T21:49:00.004+08:00

Shall dedicate tonight to blogging since my last post was from a gazillion years ago. This is so unlike me!!!

Every week has been pretty routine for me. Work on mon to fri, meeting up with friends for dinner, boyfriend on saturday, family day on sunday. I like spending time like this with a proper plan :) And to me, it seems pretty balanced ahhhha!

Last week was spent in HK with my family though! First time to macau, second to hk. A million casinos in macau, and the people there kind of gross me out. Met really horrible, atrocious mannered people there too and I really hate it.
Senado square
Ruins of St. Pauls.
These are the only places I love about macau. Hehe. Ofcuz not forgetting the awesome portugese foodie!!!

WAH the eggtart is slurrrrrrrrpz. Can never eat such an awesome eggtart anywhere else in the world. I SWEAR. Dont even talk to me about sg's eggtarts.
HK was good too, the symphony of lights show was quite awesome. The food too, ofcuz :D My fav have to be the fan cheong (aka singapore's cheecheongfan). I have never eaten such chewy and yummy ones before!! (speaking of it makes me hungry alr...)
This time round, its travelling with my mom and dad, without my sister! So more or less the reading of maps, asking for directions, etc, becomes my load. The stupid woman gave me a heart attack at the airport abt our ferry to macau. And I had to fix that. We lost our way while looking for our hotel. And I had to try to fix it too. My parents were tired of climbing all the stairs, I got to try to find a shorter route. It feels like... I just had to take better care of them instead of the other way round?
But I swear I have the sweetest parents :) The last day in hk, when we were in the hotel, mom asked dad if he enjoyed the trip. His response was, so long our child is happy, its good enough.
Really got to count my blessings. I feel so loved everyday :) And I'm hoping they enjoyed the trip too, with my company! Its been nice sleeping in the same room with them.. Wish I have more of such time, just to spend more time with my parents while I can.

Results for sem2 was released few days after I'm back from hk. I would say my results took me by surprise. Honestly thought I'll do mega badly this sem becuz of all my phail projects and horrible final paper. Well turn out I did just fine, comparable to last sem. After s/u-ing my SS mod, I was very satisfied with my cap this sem. Cumulative cap was not bad for me too. So, I'm thankful and I'm glad :)
Best thing is, the only person who shared with me every single grade and cap, has exactly the same grades and cap as me :) So glad I know Weiyang! At least he's a friend who doesn't judge me. Hope he's enjoying himself in grand canyon!

And I'll be out of job really soon, in less than a week's time. Wonder if its a good thing because... 1. I really don't quite enjoy this job 2. I have more time for myself instead of looking forward to weekends which... Is pretty short. I really want some time for myself 3. I have camps coming up and if I skip the next dry run.... I'll just feel bad
BUT. If I'm out of job means I'll be poor. And its gss period, how can i afford to be poor????
Haha okay, anyway, I definitely wouldn't stick to this job anymore!

Looking forward to spending time with my friends too :)
People may find it funny, the way I define close friends. I need not see them everyday, I need not text them everyday, I need not tell them every single thing happening in my life. They just need to be close to my heart.
And I'm glad I have found a few :) Friends who understands me so well, friends who stick to me when I'm down, friends who have so much trust and faith in me in whatever I do and believe I'll never let anyone down. Sometimes I feel that others trust me more than I can trust myself.
So, hey, if I don't talk to you often, if I don't see you often, doesn't mean I love you no more! You'll always be my close pal, xoxo.

Have got a lot of things on my mind recently and I need time to sort them out. Its just thoughts that needs some "filing" in the little corners of my mind. Too busy with too many things.
Can't remember the last time I felt insecure and uncertain when I should feel otherwise. So this is how it feels like. But no, feeling too secure and certain is bad, becuz it'll only lead to complacency and taking things for granted.
But sometimes I'm too busy trying to avoid things that will lead to situations I deem as undesirable. So busy that I forgot I should be enjoying this ride.
Or maybe just too afraid history may keep repeating itself.

2011-05-17T15:47:00.002+08:00

Don't use "as a friend" if you are not even talking to me like one....
I'm okay with you reprimanding me for being irresponsible because in this case, I am.
But if you wanna be "as a friend", you'd be asking me why I chose to do that instead. And not reprimanding and demanding (not explicitly but implying) me to not make that decision.
Either I'm always that irresponsible to you, or you simply don't care.
Neither makes me happy.
Trying to make me take back my words by making me guilty, isn't that what you always do? Yes, I feel bad, but I have to make a choice right? Its this or that and I got to decide. Its my bad thats why I'm trying to make sure I don't make the decision too last minute and I've given you an alternative I can pick too. But you're not telling me if its acceptable? If you think its a joke, tell me and I'll forget it once and for all.
And strictly speaking, I signed up for it voluntarily, not under the name of the position I hold. So why lump me together with them when you should treat me like any other of the 100 (or so) volunteers?
I know I'm in no position to rant or complain, but I feel quite lousy now because of your messages. Think you should just take back the words saying you're a friend now yah. Its all business, yes, sir?

And now you leave it hanging. Nice one. Smart move. You win, its bugging me quite badly now.

Some people come and go while some people stay.
Enough. I don't need a million friends. All I need is a few close ones I can rely on, and I already know who they are.
Jangan tension................

2011-05-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

Need no psychologist, need no psychiatrist, all I need was the right one.
I'm more than just alright now. Healed, fixed, however you want to call it.
Proved you wrong, arrogant thing.
And all the more it makes me feel like I've made the right/best decision.
Money ain't gonna get me the best doctor.
Look who's the incompetent one now.
(And I know we'll just pretend like nothing's happen. Because you're an ass like that.)

Survived week one at work. Though work has been mundane and I don't think I'll be learning much from it, I still got to pull through it all! Well maybe at the end of the day, I'll still learn something without realising! (Just got to stay positive, right!!) Shouldn't be complaining since the environment ain't too harsh. Maybe its just that I'm expecting too much ):
BUT the companies I applied to for internships really should stop calling me and rubbing salt onto my wound. Why did you all call/email me after > 1 month after the app deadline closed!! ): I promised to be more patient next year and not rush into looking for a job so quickly. Else I'll most likely be sitting in a HR or mkt dept now, (more probably) working happily with satisfying jobscope. OKAY I need to stop whining about work, it was my decision ):

On a lighter note,
Onceeee again, happy birthday JeanneKohhhhhh :)

Spent last friday night with her and this year, I'm smart enough to bring my cam. (I'm still waiting for pictures which she took on her bday LAST YEAR) Picked dempsey and it was a good choice :) Dinner at barracks was awesome, drank a little at a, uhm, supposed-to-look-pretty-but-there-were-disgusting-bugs bar. It was strange becuz a guy walked over to our table to ask for our age. Uhhhh!! Do we look underage!!!
Anyhow, I hope I'll be able to spend her 21st bday with her too! :) and may our friendship becomes stronger as time goes by. Definitely hope she'll find the one she deserves soon too, whether or not she's alr met him!!

Sat was awesome too! I'm enjoying every weekend now. So is sunday :D
Now I'm only looking forward to the end of the week. And unknowingly by doing so, I am looking forward to the end of my 3month hols ):

(KOIIIIIII!!! :))
Still, gonna enjoy it while it lasts!!! (NUS needs to stop reminding me about exam results. I ain't gonna check it this sem, I SWEARRRR.)

The only regret I have is not being able to to give you my all. Part of me is already gone and this is whats left of me. The half-skeptical, half-believer. Please forgive me.

2011-05-05T00:56:00.004+08:00

My 500th post on this blog!!!! :D

Quite an achievement. My old blogs got deleted once they reached 150 or 200 posts? Hahahha!

Anyway, school's finally finally out for me! This sem seems reeeeeally long eventhough its only been, what? Barely 4 months? The painful project days and the torturous mugging days. Glad its all over now :) Eventhough I know my results are going to be pretty bad this sem. Byebye 2nd upper! Hi to 3rd class/2nd lower!

But, c'mon. After slogging through O levels hoping to get into a good jc (and "good" here is subjective) and slogging (and I really mean painfully, with tons of effort put in) through A levels just to make sure I get into a local Uni and course of my choice, I don't want to slogggg for another 3/4 years just for that piece of paper I've been chasing. Nonono): The sole motivation in A levels was: Slog hard, get your distinctions. Get into a local uni, my preferred/desired course and enjoy uni days. Learn with joy.
Not gonna slog through anymore. Period. (And that was what went through my mind couple of minutes before my paper started.)

And that explains why exams are no longer the top-est top priority in my life but ofcuz, it is still important and I wouldn't disregard it entirely. It will still be one of my priorities.

After two sems, I can now proudly announce that I've completed freshman year and I'm in for sophomore in 3months' time :) I know, all my life, I've been complaining how my life sucks, etc. But at the end of the day, I'll still count my blessings. And today happens to be one of those days I'd consider myself leading quite a perfect life. I have everything I need, nothing that I lack. Loving family whom I really cannot live without, not aplenty but few close friends who are always there for me, an education which will hopefully land me in a good job/future, financially stable and the bonus of finding my soul mate, the one who knows me best. Maybe I'm dreaming but life seems complete and perfect for me now. Few days later, I might just start complaining about my sad life again but I'll still remember all that I have and feel thankful for all the people in my life who makes things bearable and more enjoyable.

Then again, it makes me scared. Whatever goes up will eventually come down. Is my life gonna get shitty again soon ): I don't want anything to screw up. Status quo, please.

Celebration for end of exams/year1 + Regina's bday :)

I think I'll die without jap food. (Seems like its true, marketers do create more needs. Hmmm, ethical issue here.)

2011-05-03T00:55:00.003+08:00

Its a bit late now but I'm still mugging through for my last paper.
Brain's kind of dead but I'm not sleeping till I finish this chapter. Determination! Hiak! :D

Somehow I feel like my life is pretty much complete now and there's nothing I can complain about. Holidays gonna be pretty much packed, weekdays and weekends. I'm even worrying if I'll be able to attend all the dry runs and camps that I'm supposed to. Anyhow, I managed to find a job in clarkequay/raffles place area. Though it isn't something I want to do, but I guess it wouldn't harm to expose myself to other aspects right? Positive attitude ftw! No whining before I even start working!

Despite having to mug and all, I'm feeling lucky and blessed no less :)
Okay back to mugging else I'm not even gonna sleep tonight.

2011-04-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

I am thankful, I will remember, but I am moving on. All the best too, old friend :)

Very happy in life now, except, walaoooo, exams are really killing me ): Studied SS with Hannah today and omg, its really not that easy to churn out a proper essay for it. ): Worst, I'll need to s/u the mod sigh.
Okayyyy, need to get back to mugging naoooozzzz. Exams in OMG 4 days time WTHHHH ):
BULLY!!!
♥

2011-04-17T02:09:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna sound like I'm bipolar but I really need to say,
I'm way too happy now :)

wheeee♥

2011-04-16T12:53:00.004+08:00

I think I've never felt this... Lost before. It feels like mid-life crisis that came too early.
Recently, this has been popping up in my mind. Maybe because I'm in the age of nowhere in between. Not too young to think of what I want to be, not too old for regrets yet. It feels like a crossroad, which path should I take?
It seems to me like there are so many paths that I can take and so many things I can do that I would feel happy doing (or so, I think I would be).
Times were easier when all we had to do was study so that we can get in to the school we want. So here I am now, in where I've always wanted to be in.
And, what's next?
Yes, work. But where? Anywhere? What kind of job? An employee for life? Slowly climbing up the corporate ladder, and then what?
Now I know what my friends meant when they say they wished they didn't do well for their A levels. Maybe they'll be out there, striving to do what they want in life instead of being stuck in a place where everything is planned out for us. Now I wish I had major setbacks in life that propels me further instead of being so mainstream.

I really need to know what I want. I don't want to lead a life like this, without directions, without motivations. CAP 5.0 is a total bullshit aim. No one really cares how well you did in school at the end of the day. So long you know you learnt from the experiences and painfully-structured courses.

Not just that. How about emotionally? As I am growing up, I've had dreams of becoming a mom who stays home to cook and take care of my family. But I have dreams of staying alone, being financially and emotionally independent. Honestly, both appeals to me but I only have one life. How would I want to live it?

Someone/something needs to show me the way. And I know I shouldn't be avoiding this because... Goodness gracious, we're talking about my future, my life over here. Should I not meet with any accidents/terminal illness, there's still probably around 50years or more for me to exist and leave some mark in this world. Maybe all I need is more time to figure things out. But the more time I take, the slower I am in making progressions. The clock waits for me, not.

Despite all that, there are still moments when I feel like running away from all these madness, just travelling alone in foreign places where I wouldn't bump into anyone I know. Serenity. Tranquility.

Sidenote: Okay, reading SSA1201 makes me think way too much. This should never be an exam-able module. Food for thought, friends.

2011-04-14T00:46:00.002+08:00

Okay brain ain't working anymore now but I refuse to sleep >:(
Shall take a mini break now before trying to work on my acctg project. Thank goodness the deadline is pushed to one day later. Okay, not an excuse for us to slack.

This sem, I'm probably more used to life in uni and the competitiveness already. Don't really want to be in this insane rat race and die for a high CAP. Okay yes, I still want to do well but sometimes, we really shouldn't be sitting in the room the entire day, mugging. Some people are more important than mugging, such that I would be willing to give up mugging time for them. Somethings which I enjoy doing, that will keep me sane, are definitely worth sacrificing some mugging time. Surprising or not, I've yet to finish revising any of my modules. I have 4 papers to sit for this time round, with only one closed-book exam. Ironically, that only exception is an arts paper.

These couple of days, or maybe even weeks, I... Have been feeling unappreciated. I think I'm just being self-conscious, greedy and losing my self-confidence. I have no idea why this is happening to me but I think at the end of the day, no matter what I say, I still care a lot about how people perceive me to be, whether or not its true. There's always some truth behind every "just kidding". Especially so when its said more than once. It kindddd of hurt, hearing those words from a friend.

Buttttt, other than that, life had been pretty good for me I guess. At least I know, and I feel sane and I go to bed happy every night. At least I know I still have friends who really care and wouldn't leave :)

2011-04-02T23:29:00.003+08:00

Feels like a meaningful saturday though I didn't do much. More of my mind, I guess.
Sort out my stuff, cleared up my messy desk, did some filing and proud of how organised I can be. Did my tutorial for next friday (uh hur, I'm efficient like that), wrote up my timetable, etc.
Walked home after my run through a different route today. For some reason, it was like a trip down memory lane. Wouldn't elaborate but I finally realised I was too young, too naive. I can finally understand why things end up this way now and its was all my fault. It aches so badly but I'm hoping things are better on his side now.
Frequent flashbacks are no fun. But I guess they are part of me now which wouldn't go away.
I'll get on with life :)

2011-03-29T13:35:00.005+08:00

*beams*

Cynthia is a really happy girl today. Decided to skip my only lecture and stay home! Well, because I can watch the webcast of the lecture so its fine. And I really really need sleep.

Past week or so had been insane, trying to finish up reports. 2 submitted yst, 1 today. So now, all those crap is ovvverrr!!!! I'm perfectly fine with writing reports. I totally enjoyed writing my bizcomm report. But when it comes to topics I don't really like or when there are too much restrictions orrrr having groupmates who can't quite be bothered, thats when report writing becomes painful. Not gonna talk about it anymore, enough of bitching and whining!

But life is not completely free now. I still have FA groupwork and FOP in two weeks' time. Not forgetting having to start studying for finals. My mkt is totally screwed up. Really got to start mugging hard ;( Sigh, 6 more weeks to the end of these! And I'm gonna be a year 2 when school starts. Can't decide if I'm excited or fearful. But until now, I'm still enjoying school!

On the other hand.. I had a really long and weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was calling a friend, asking him if he has formal shoes to lend me?? Uhh why in the world would I need a guy's pair of formal shoes??? And afterwhich, I dreamt that one of my teeth dropped out?? I could even see the root the teeth! I was so freaked out and I looked disgustingggg without my teeth ;(

I just went to google this and apparently, dreaming of teeth dropping signifies loss of power/confidence to communicate and fearful of how other perceive me to be. Seriously, am I that insecure????

Anyhowwww, shall get some baking therapy this weekend :)

Before that, wish me luck for my mock interview on thurs! Better don't let me meet *insert-evil-transvestite's-name*.......

2011-03-26T04:16:00.002+08:00

Seriously don't understand what I am doing, staring at a document at 4.15am on a saturday morning, trying to cut down on the wordcount.

Who ever said life in uni is easy?
No wonder passion is so impt. Who in the world would stay up just to finish up reports if its for something they don't enjoy doing.

Last 77 words to cut down before I ~~go to bed~~ take a nap and head down to school in a couple of hours' time.
(Y) awesome life. I am totally dreaming naooz.

2011-03-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

No doubt in my mind where you belong

2011-03-23T00:56:00.003+08:00

I know I'm gonna wake up feeling angsty tomorrow. Second time in the month, this is bad.

Meaning, I've got to put on a false front again, pretending everything is okay.

Well. Its gonna be over soon so, yuppz, lets pull through this and hope for the better.

Maybe I'll convince myself after lying to myself.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

Let's go! (back to books)

2011-03-19T19:58:00.002+08:00

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/19/tonights-the-big-night-here-comes-supermoon/

Every sign has a denotation and a connotation.

In this case, the moon is the sign.

The denotation is what it signifies to people in general.

The connotation is what it signifies to a particular individual.

So what does the moon connote for you?

2011-03-18T22:25:00.003+08:00

Good day (Y)

Subject pool in the morning, interesting survey questions I would say.
Finished up script for my SS presentation next week.
Saw the invoice for my first month's pay. FFFFFFFinally its in, after two months. URGH.
Results for FA were way beyond expectations. But nonono, finals carry more than twice the percentage compared to midterms. Still got to continue the struggle ;(
Got my brows done at somerset with Hannah. Been very annoyed by my ugly, out of shape and bushy brows. Its so pretty now :) :) :)

Totally no life nowadays. Only recent picture of myself was taken during boring BFS lesson. And thats the reason why I need to be in formal/office wear every wednesday and rot for three long hours. Can't deny the content can be useful but, the way it was being delivered??? Ohwell. 3 more weeks to go.

I guess the main motivation for working hard and doing well is to make my loved ones proud. Since young, my parents and sister are the ones who are happiest for me when I do well. Especially my mom. Not just studies, but other forms of achievements, no matter how mild they are. Suddenly there are just flashbacks of the things I did and how happy she was to see me on stage, etc. And I will want to continue to make her feel proud of me.
(:

2011-03-17T20:44:00.002+08:00

Everyone knows it but you.

Life had been pretty good these days.

Enjoying and sane, albeit busy.

Had a million things to rant about on Monday, but well, glad we found the right direction and am working on it now. It wasn't thatttt bad, I just needed to rant and let off some steam. And I did, to a couple of friends and even my mom. Deadline drawing close, I am definitely freaking out. I feel bad at times and I really don't want to upset anyone. Sigh ohwell :(

The last time I spend time in a bus journey thinking through things (instead of sleeping or reading my bizlaw book) was way too long ago. Today, I did and realise it is no longer as productive as I always thought it is. Instead, it only reminded me of things that I didn't want to remember, makes me upset and mad with myself and I feel defeated all over again. Maybe its true that I've only been running away and not facing the problem. After all these years, I'm still as weak as ever. Still have no idea why I'm such a pushover at times. Not wanting things to turn ugly and take in all the rubbish and pain. I have no idea why I can tolerate all that.

While walking home, I thought through many things. Things that made me smile, things that made me hang my head in shame.

And it reminded me why I gave up in the first place.

I don't know what to wish for right now and maybe... Just maybe.

2011-03-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

omg before it strikes 12mn,

HAPPY PI (3.14) DAY AND WHITE VALENTINE'S!!!!

2011-03-13T23:01:00.003+08:00

Can't believe its sunday night again.

It was as if I had no weekend this week. Insane, it was a really crazy weekend.

At least things that needs to be settled are kind of settled already.

And I can probably get more sleep tonight.

Surviving on minimal sleep, powernaps and sleeping during busrides.

Pleeeeease, someone sell koi in school tmr ): Craving for my comfort food (or rather, drink) so badly.

I'm sorry if I'd been angsty today. But... Really. I don't like last minute work like that without proper communication within a group. Different styles, too different.

Can't wait for sem2 to be over, really.

2011-03-08T00:19:00.004+08:00

Guess I need to do a financial report for myself soon.

My income statement (that will probably show a negative earnings, hur), statement of retained earnings (should I have any), balance sheet (where my liabilities >>>> assets) and statement of cash flow.

I calculated my estimated expenses (excluding food, etc) based on the things I need to buy this month (aka wireless presenter, haircut, etc). And goodness gracious, its about 150bucks. My inflow of cash can't even support that (don't even remind me of my almost-non-existent job). Fml, I don't know how I can survive a 5-day week.

My current assets are pathetic.

My longterm assets..... Wait till I have them.

And my sister delivered the news that our regular hairdresser got promoted. Really happy for him BUT his fees are now increased by a whooping 36%.

(Y)

Time to cut down on impulse buying and start savingggg upppzzz.

2011-03-06T02:52:00.001+08:00

Watched amazing race with mom till 3am (Y)

I must be insane. But ohwell :) Can't wait for next week's episode!

2011-03-05T00:31:00.003+08:00

Ohmy, my legs are dying and I feel so tired now.

But I had a really eventful friday, once again.

Went for morning tutorials with other classes today for three hours straight. FA is seriously unbearable without my AG mates. Thank goodness my bizlaw tutor was being really nice to me today. Phew.

Flew off to JJ after that. Daaaaamn, it started pouring the minute I alighted my bus ): I was in semi-formal and heels and I didn't want to get drencheddddd ): But the rain was so heavy that even the shelter was not enough to keep me dry. Sigh ohwell.

Anyway, it feels good to be back in JJ :) Sat at the booth with a new friend, Roy! He's a year1 in acctg, from JJ too. And because we graduated 2 years apart, we were taught by more or less the same batch of teachers! Quite a few other ex-JJCians and current NUS students came over after that to help too. Glad they are all friendly people, else it'd have been a really boring afternoon.

Saw familiar teachers, juniors, peers, and (hehe) my eyecandyyyy :D What a bonus. (Alllllllll who knows me in JC should know who my eyecandy is??? Hahaha!)

Stood outside the hall while results were released. Seems like the school did pretty well as a whole this year :D Am really really glad when my juniors came over to the booth after that, said hi to me, and told me they did pretty well. Very happy for them :) Kenneth did well too, and its quite a relief. YouYi's such a sweet boy, took leave just to accompany Kenneth to collect his results, eh? Haha. Now I really miss JC days. In particular, during active eclub days!

Anw, I had fun standing at the booth for a couple of hours. Tiring, but fun :)

Left the booth after the crowd died down. Wanted to find a couple of teachers but it seems like they are all so busy ): Managed to talk to Mr Chin for a bit though :D He could remember my name the minute he saw me hahaha, I swear his memory is amazing. Saw Mr Yeo and I can't believe he said he remembers YouYi and I, just not our names. Gosh. Alottt of other teachers too :) And cookie house auntie! Haha, had tuna sandwich for my mega late lunch. The boys tried to stuff me with food too, but no, no thanks.

Left after awhile, and I went down to somerset to meet Carina :D ShiMun, YuQi and WenLin then came along. Its nice to have the five of us sit in marche and talk. Just like old times, yet different. Talked about the past, the present and our possible future.

Good end to the day :) Now my legs feel like they're dying. 16hours odd of heels today. Nice.

You the only boy that I need
The only one that I dream about endlessly

2011-03-01T21:45:00.003+08:00

Am discussing some exciting issues with a friend.
Him, talking about the girl in his dreams and how he's trying to get her.
And I can't help but think this is the sweetest part of any relationships. The pursuit, the friends-but-we-know-we-are-beyond-friends kind of feeling, soon-but-not-together-yet kind of behavior.
"I'd rather dating stage forever. No commitments, just love."
Maybe its just me, or maybe something happened that changed me. I had this commitment phobia. People tried to change me, tried to help me get rid of it. But I guess, the only hurdle lies in me.

I'm not sure about now but I feel that the hurdle is much more manageable for me to get over already. Maybe its for someone, maybe its time that made things easier. But I'm no longer that confused girl who soak my pillow with tears. I guess I figured things out and everything seems clearer now.

Its only after you meet the wrong people will you realise you have long met the right one.

2011-02-27T21:25:00.002+08:00

A short one today! Gonna be heading to dreamland soon tonight :D

Recess week is over. Manage to catch up on studies and some friends. Started on projects too. Mini lecture 2 on wednesday. Quite a fruitful week! Finally watched black swan this weekend too. Awesome show :D Glad I didn't end up watching it alone at home in the middle of the night though. I'll probably be freaking out ;(

Really glad that February had been really kind to me.
CNY, vday, recess week and its over. Everything went all.
Cleared up stuff and now I'm feeling so much better :)
Learnt a lesson, dont give in purely for fear of upsetting someone. Eventually we'll just be betraying ourselves.
Be strong, be yourself, be happy.
Wheeeeeee (:

2011-02-23T01:38:00.003+08:00

I can totally feel my life going back on track now.

Didn't take too long, did I?

Well, at least I managed to clear up everything on my part.

Feel so much better now!

Plus the little things that complete my day ;)

Hoping for the best for my friends too.
They deserve so much better. Not mind games but happy endings.
(Wishing one for myself too.)

Okay! Time for projects once again. Five projects this semester, but thankfully only one midterms. This is quite awesome life ;)
Except, I'm running low on cash and there's a million things I need/want. Hmm.

2011-02-16T23:19:00.009+08:00

Decided to blog tonight before finishing up some loose ends of my tutorials!

I'm still raving over vday, especially since today's kickboxing session was infused with some vday element. (our trainee decided to use love songs for our exercises today hahah he's damn funny!)

So the day started off pretty well mainly because I was so in the mood for vday. Like, I really love vday and xmas?? They are the two days which I always look forward to in a year!

Went to school early to do some printing and collected some stuff from a stranger. Would say it was unexpected, but not a reeeeally pleasant surprise. Ohwell.

The girls had a good gift exchange! Like, we didn't expect us all to have a gift for one another. Ohhhwell(: Hannah gave us cupcakes, Rebecca came with roses, Regina made rings with roses from paper, while I gave them chocolate+coaster with a message (which I bought like 2 days ago and wrapped them in town while rushing for a movie!!). It was niceeee (:

School lasted for two hours, and we were all staying around in the canteen area after that to listen to the song dedication, wait for koi and cotton candy :D

Haha okay I know I look stupid and all.....

Left for robertson quay after JiaJun was ready to leave with us. Had a good chat on the way there and had a hard time finding sapporo ramen. Since the weather was soooo horribly hot and we were all so hungry, we settled for menya shinchan. So that was my second visit there!!! Wanted to try the tsukemen but stillllll couldn't resist the temptation of ramen x)

Us with our respective ramen :D

But it wasn't as nice, maybe because ippudo really raised the bar really high. Sigh ohwell. So need to find out where the sapporo ramen is!

JiaJun left after that since she was in a rush for her date ;)

Hannah then wanted me to bring her to nectarie :D Hehe all my friends wanna go there, I'm so happy!

My bailey's icecream and her rum and raisin! My bailey's didn't taste quite bailey's that day ):
Had a gooood long chat with her about our secondary/jc days! I really loveee sitting in nectarie and just chatting with whoever I'm with. So peaceful :) Hehe, who else wants to go there with meeeee? :D

Last minute meetup with Lester. Hannah was so fascinated by the Gmax, so we stood there to watch this couple and a Caucasian lady take the extreme swing. Haha I saw it a gazillion times already while Lester took the ride before, but it was nice seeing Hannah's reaction :D Hehe!

Hannah left after a while, so Lester suggested chilling at some bar, when it was only 5pm. Nice. Drank a little, walked over to the river and continued talking about life. Glad he's finally growing up! Took his car for 5min and almost lost my life cuz he freaking drove to a dead end. Oh.My.God.

Jeanne then came over in the evening :D Soooo glad to see her!

Dinner-ed at tcc, but I was too full from ramen to eat anything.

Gift exchange :D One gift that's inedible (budget = $14) and 2 different types of candies => 1402! :D we're so smarttzz.

Left for chupitos after dinner! By then I was quite sleepy already actually...

Had a couple of shots that were pretty mild, and we were just talking about life. That night, my phone batt was dying but some overseas number was calling. Most of the time I'll reject it thinking its some scam from china, again. Ohwell but I picked it up anyway and recognised JeanLe's voice like almost immediately.

Came back to Jeanne after the phonecall and felt terrible because I didn't know how to cheer her up ): Took quite a strong shot after that and I kinddd of like it! Went to the washroom and bumped into Eugene! Lightbulb struck me and decided to get him to buy some flowers for Jeanne :D Ehehe, so he did, and Jeanne thought they were some random strangers who came in to give us flowers. But am glad it did cheered her up little! :D

She then got flowers made from serveats hehehe. Hope she's muchhh better nowwwwww...
Supposed to left chupitos after one hour, but we stayed for three hours instead. Ohhmygosh hahaha and it was sooo hard to call for a cab cuz, everyone was probably calling for one to send their gf home. Pfft! Think about poor girls like us please!

But anyhow, it was a good day with my girliessss (: I am a happy girl now!

the song our trainee used this week for our kickboxing session for cooling down :)

2011-02-15T01:06:00.003+08:00

Just got home, but I'm too happy to sleep now.

Best vday gift?

Not the roses, not the chocolates. (eventhough I do love them!! :D)

But the intangibles.

Three minutes was all it took.

This has got to be the best vday moment so far.

2011-02-14T00:20:00.002+08:00

yayyyyyy ITS TWELVE!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, WORLD!

Which ever part on earth you're in now, happy valentine's day!!!

This has got to be one of the most awesome days in the year!

Please feel loved whether or not you have a date today. It doesnt matter, all you need to know is, you're loved by someone out there (:

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ !

secretly hoping next year it'll be different for you and i.

2011-02-10T20:09:00.003+08:00

It has been quite a good week.

No bizcomm presentation, just watching the rest of them present and giving feedback. Its strange, somehow, seeing some of my classmates present in such a way I've never seen them did last semester. Hmm. Guess we are learning and trying to improve. Or so, I hope.

Hannah and Rebecca came over to my house on tuesday morning. Mom was so excited because I hardly bring friends over. She cooked lunch for us and I hope they enjoyed it! Well at least I'm pretty sure they enjoyed laughing at my baby photos. Fat and chubby >:(

Productive mugging session yesterday in town. Managed to finish my biz law tutorial and 3 readings x) Awesome much! Bought presents too, and popcorn from cornery :D one pack of caramel and one pack of white cheese! Shared it in school today, and we all love it!

Went for my second kickboxing session last night too. Its stupid to go for the lesson without lunch and dinner. I was so tired, I couldn't really follow ): It could have been more fun! I promise to stop shortchanging myself and eat before my lesson in future. But it was still fun though.

The next few days should be good too, at least I will try to make them better.

I feel like stargazing... I'm damn weird):

2011-02-05T23:08:00.002+08:00

YUCKKKSSS I hate my phone. Seems like I can't send out messages properly for the past few hours. URGHHHHH >;( maybe its time I search for a new phone.
Then again. Technology is giving me alot of problems!!!!!

SIGH.
Cousins just left. Had a good stalking + gossiping session. We're all pretty bitchy in a way ;) and I like it.
Only did my mkt tutorial today and I have a hell lot more to complete. This is damn sad life.
Hoping and praying things will be okay. Short term goal: at least for Feb, please let my life be smoothsailing.

Don't you always envy people whose lives seem so perfect?
Happy family, wonderful friends who are close to them since young, excel in studies and cca, have an awesome partner (and looks like a perfect couple), pleasant looking and well-loved by everyone, smooth-sailing life, hobbies that are widely accepted as normal, etc. That (seems like) a perfect life to have, isnt it? But I'm not complaining... At least I have a couple of items which I've listed up there. Well, just a couple of them.

2011-02-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

Ended up describing you unknowingly when I was asked the type of guy I would want to be with. What a joke I am.

How's your cny so far? :D
Mine had been gooood, I would say!
Spent the eve climbing all the way to bukit timah summit. Took the longest trail and got my shoes all muddy. Would have been better if company was better.
Saw ZhiQuan on the way there and met WeiYang on the way home. How small can Singapore be.
Left for fish n co at the glasshouse with mom and dad in the late afternoon. Yummy dinner(: Bus-ed over to esplanade for the river hongbao. Walked around a little but it got boring so we went home!
Today was spent visiting at my grandma's! Left after a while for our belated reunion dinner :D Yummy yumyum! Still prefer our usual jumbo but it aint open today. So ohwell!

Lets hope the following few days will be better. And please leave some days for me to catch up on my schoolwork + do my tutorials pls!!!!!

2011-02-02T02:39:00.002+08:00

Very tired now. Dying of headache thanks to the wonderful weather.
Just got home 2 hours ago from a movie with Gary and Franklin. Mega impromtu decision after our late dinner (because of some foc meeting).

So tired these few days ): Mentally, physically. Just so sick of getting brushed aside, not taken seriously just because I'm just a student. And there seems to be endless things for me to do. Sigh. But that was just what I wanted, isn't it? So, suck it up and enjoy my long weekend before hell begins again. Mad alot of catching up to do. Sem 2, please be kind.

2011-01-26T23:08:00.003+08:00

Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.

Okay. So I've kind of sort out my life abit today. At least its easier for me to say no from now on.
I just don't know if its a vicious cycle, where I chase after my past and forsake my future. But whatever, I'm doing what I think is right now.

My first kickboxing session today. I'm so glad I signed up for it.
Quoting from my (funny) instructor, "You will feel much better after the session after you let out all your negative emotions and sweat them all out. After that go home and study can also study better lah, hahahahaha." He is damn cute, all sorts of funny actions during lesson.
But yes, I feel much better, after being so gloomy for (almost) the entire day.

I'm guessing and hoping my life is back on track now. Please let everything be fine.

2011-01-24T20:46:00.003+08:00

The wind is blowing
The tree ain't moving
I held on, still holding on
But the wind got stronger; My grip went weaker
I got tired, I got sick
I've decided to loosen my grip and let the wind carry me
So I fell
Right beneath the tree
Not gone with the wind
I can feel the tree; I can feel the wind
But neither will triumph
I'll be enjoying the solitude beneath the tree
Together with the rest of the fallen leaves.

Somethings in life, you can never have a second chance. Once you lost the opportunity, you've lost it forever. I've been lying to myself, hoping for the best to happen. But now I've decided to come back to reality. (at least, what I perceived as reality)
Nothing had really happened. It was all my mind. All the little things that was said, unsaid, did, not done, etc. It was probably nothing? So why bother killing myself this way? There are more important things in life now, that should not be my priority. I'm barely twenty. All these unhappiness are unwanted, unnecessary, insignificant compared to what others out there may be facing. So suck it up, and carry on. Whatever thats meant to happen, will happen.

2011-01-24T00:27:00.003+08:00

No matter how shitty things are now and I know I can't fix this mess......

At least life in school is pretty good, I guess!
Got a vday project to work on and I think its really quite exciting!! Hope everything will turn out good. Like, awesomeeezzzzz. I can smell busy days ahead, but seriously, who cares when you're having fun.
And kickboxing starts this wednesday :) Wonderful wonderful wonderful!
Tutorials start this week and that means, more work to do.

I'm really gonna keep myself busy so I have no time for any of that rubbish. Hope shits die off and things will be peaceful and fine again.
I don't mind being a hermit right now just so these problems can go away.

p/s: I'm craving for ramen............

2011-01-19T20:29:00.005+08:00

Horoscope today says:
You may be unprepared for the strength of your feelings today as the Full Moon activates your sensitive sign. Emotions tug at every thought from their subterranean vantage points, making it difficult to maintain objectivity. Don't ignore your personal needs; the wisest thing you can do now is to practice balancing the demands of others with your own desires.

Yeah I was so unprepared.
And I am having second thoughts now. All because I seen the other side of him. It was heart-wrenching, very.
Always thought my life was shit. But its not.
Its fixable, and I'm gonna fix it.

But yes, its hard to maintain objectivity now.
I'm so afraid of making bad decisions again. I am so so so scared, I really don't want to fail again.
Will you please, show me the way again? This time, I will follow. I promise.

2011-01-18T20:03:00.002+08:00

Ohhhh its way too coincidental!
I was at the busstop near my house and I heard someone called my name.
Guess who!
Teng Sean!
I was so surprised! Just nice he was leaving for Malaysia after visiting his aunt (who lives one block away from me hahahahhaha). So glad to see him and talk to him again.
Sigh I miss primary school days! When we were nothing but innocent, dying to grow up. Now that we're all grown-ups, all we want is to be that ignorant again.
Shall eat more fruits in school since his uncle are the one supplying the fruits in almost all the fruit stalls in NUS!!! How cool right!

2011-01-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

Halfway through lessons today, I was wondering what I was doing exactly one year ago.
All I could remember was, my whole jan was fabulous because I was still enjoying my holidays. But what about, exactly one year ago, on the very same day?

160110

How time flies! (and this shows the perks of keeping & updating a blog :D )
I kind of wish I could go back to there and then, though.
At least, I didn't have to prepare for my bizcomm mini lecture (aka presentation) exactly one year ago.

2011-01-14T15:54:00.006+08:00

RAMEN ♥

Marutama (with zohans, weiyang, yenceen, lizard&jeanne!). I love their yaki charshu.! DAMN YUMMY. I always finish the last drop of soup. SLURPZ.

Santouka. Abit too oily for my liking ): And the charshu isnt that nice. Dont think I'll be going back for more!

Menya Shinchan. I loveeeee the shop, it looks like a typical ramen shop in japan. Doesn't look atas at all. I like! The ramen was quite good, soup was mega rich but abit salty. Still yumyum! (after removing the corn bits, that is) Will definitely head back for more, IF I really crave for it. The location is really quite inaccessible....

Tampopo. My sister loves tampopo too! But not for their ramen, she loves their black pig. Ramen was alright, but the tamago was awesome. I can literally drink the yolk.! Sister promised to bring me there for their black pig >:)

Ippudo. Slurrrps, the noodles were good. Relatively small portion, but the noodles were reallyyy bouncy! Hahaha quite oily too and soup was abit too light. Would prefer if its abit richer. Charshu was mad good too!

Ehehe, keeping track of all the ramen shops I've been to. Lets hope the list grows longerrrr.! Yet to try the sapporo ramen! ANYONE? >:)

2011-01-11T23:07:00.003+08:00

I can't hold it back anymore. I really need to say this.

Thank you for screwing up my life. I never knew the damage will be this bad, this lasting.

I can't remember a single smile. I only remember the pain. And these nightmares are not going away.

Thank you so much. I can only say FML now.

2011-01-11T18:07:00.007+08:00

"If one week is not enough, take a month. If one month is not enough, go for a year. Only you can help yourself get out of this."

"Promise me you'll treat yourself better. Its for your own good."
I need to get my life back on track and stop getting all emotionally unstable. I really really do. I hate this.

My horoscope for today says:
It's not that the problems in your life have disappeared; it's just that they appear to be more manageable now. (MANAGEABLE?? No, I think the problems are getting worse.) Your current willingness to take a risk certainly increases your options, but more alternatives don't necessarily mean that any of them will be the right one. Although you're able to defend your point of view successfully, it's smarter to act sooner than later to avoid potential conflict.

Nope, not good. First day of school wasn't good.

Woke up bright and early, looking forward to my first bizcomm lesson at 10am. I was already on the bus to school when I received Acacia's text. She said the dumb tutor/course coordinator email-ed us at 8.30am saying bizcomm starts next monday. HA for a moment I thought it was a joke. Texted/called the rest and confirmed that its true. FML.

Still went ahead to school since the rest are heading to school too.

JinHui and Dong then drove us to town for ippudo! (RAMENNN FTW)

Damn yummy max. The charshu is comparable to my marutama. Would like it if the soup is a bit richer. But the noodle is mega yumz.
Good lunch with crazy people.
The annoying boiz.
Went shopping at orchard after that (they parked their cars at plaza sing). Wanted to bring the guys around since they wanted to buy bags/flops but they are damn fail at shopping. We gave up, did our own shopping and they went back to school.
Went into aldo since they were having a sale. Ehehe, Hannah and I bought a pair of footwear each. Walked over to ion and I bought my new schoolbag. I likey it so muchie. Sigh but I spent so much in a day??? Food + flops + bag.
Head back to school after that for my 4pm lecture. Hannah and I looked like sluts, carrying our huge aldo shopping bag, walking around school. Damn gross! Lecture was quite interesting (and worrying) and it ended 45min early. Uh hur.
Bus-ed over to vivo after that, had a yummy chinese dinner and home after that.

So that was my very fail first day of sem2. Need to start hunting for textbooks + selling of textbooks. $moneymoneymoney$, come to mummy.

2011-01-09T20:41:00.003+08:00

You're so amazing, you took the time to figure me out.

Preparing for school today!
Past few days was spent trying to enjoy the last bit of freedom.
Shopping(YAYYYYYY I finally bought what I wanted!) + food that I miss/crave + meeting up with pals!
Hehe, shall dedicate the next blog entry solely for my ramen adventure.

I'm quite afraid of sem2, sigh.
Just printed out all the notes for the week and...
There were 65slides for one lect of financial accounting (aka FA).
Omg ): This is damn bad. Marketing don't look very friendly either.
Sigh I'M REALLY DAMN SCARED FOR SCHOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ):
Pls pray that I'll pull through.

Got to pack my stuff, iron my clothes and get ready for school.
Bye life. Hi school.

2011-01-06T13:46:00.003+08:00

When I listened to this song, an image appeared in my mind. Then there was this warm feeling in me and I smiled.

Even the smallest thing can make me smile for so long now.
(:

But the day didn't go as well as it started.
Was supposed to get the docs I need to work on some stuff in the morning but it came in the afternoon.
Its okay, becuz I'm efficient so it doesn't matter.
But the problem is I don't have the latest version of MS, so there are certain features in it that I don't have access to ZZZZ.
After a couple of hours of panicking and trying (and swearing), Weiyang came to my rescue. I really thank god for this friend!! He passed me his laptop becuz he has the version of MS required and he uses his desktop most of the time. Ohhhhmygoodness, I'd never trust anyone to my laptop?? Seriously couldn't thank him enough. And the funniest part was, we were wearing the same shirt (FAC camp tee!!) when he passed the stuff to me haha wth, what a friend I have. But anw, life really suck ttm becuz I forgot my internet security key SIGH. Strong cynthia managed to get through all these rubbish and submit my work a couple of hours ago. Now I need to worry abt the following week's one alr, FML T.T
Now I need a long term solution. I need to upgrade my MS. URGH.

2011-01-04T12:06:00.003+08:00

After the conversations, I realised
1. As a soon-to-be-20-year-old, I'm an underachiever. (I feel damn inferior during the conversation.)
2. I wasted too much time and yes, I need to do more. I need to know how.
3. Its so easy to see through me. Crystal clear, yep, thats a hundred percent accurate.
4. Even after doubting myself, I am still the same me. (Still as ignorant as I am when I was 14. Still looking for the impossible, fairytale-like ending. Still prefer a simple life despite always joking about marrying a rich old man.)
5. I need to get my life back on track and stop getting all emotionally unstable. (I need courage booster, so badly.)

2011-01-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

They call me heartbreaker, I don't wanna deceive you.

So this is how my first day of the year went.
Really, do people really think the countdown meant the year is really over and things that you do not want to bring forth to the new year will stay in the previous year, obediently?
Really, do people really think the fireworks will activate the reset button.
I wish its true too. Sadly, its not.
That one mistake can kill you. In this case, kill me.
I need to know what is so fantastic about me.

Baking was therapeutic today though.

Made brownie for my dearest sister. It was scary, because the first time I baked brownies, my baking paper caught fire (refer to earlier post!). This time I learnt from my mistake, i put my tray lower so that it wouldnt be too close to the heating element. But, fml, its supposed to be cooked in 35min, it was still moist in the inside after 50min. ZZZ max.

Thank goodness it turned out okay. (at least, I think.)

Went on to make walnut cookies for my mom. She loves them, becuz of the walnuts. I hate nuts, enough said.

Took alottt of time moulding them into such pretty shapes. Not like they taste better but at least, they look cuter.
Being the very clumsy woman here, I touched the tray of cookies when its in the oven with my bare hands. Haaaa, thank goodness I didn't drop them. I will cry, for sure. But well, a big fat blister on my big fat finger.
Once they were done, I attempted melting butter and choc for a layer of choc fudge/icing on my brownie.

Think I added too much butter? I had to scoop up the layer of oil floating on my mixture, its damnnnnz gross. Thank goodness it taste good tgt with my brownies.
PHEW. I kind of like it.
Planned to go running after my baking therapy but it was pouring. If this continues, I'm never going to lose weight. ZZZZ.

Anw, I went robertson quay few days back for ramen at menya shinchan (uh hur, idk thats my number what ramen of the week. I keep appearing in ramen shops.)
I tried their pork bone soup based ramen. IT WAS REALLY NICE i love the soup and charshu BUT but but but but but, they had CORN in it. ZZZZ so I had to pick them out one by one before I start enjoying my delicious bowl of ramen. I hate having corn in my food. But anw, am so going back for the ramen.
That was the night I bumped into MoonThong and Marc near cathay too, and both of them couldn't recognise me. Nice.

Better make sure tmr will be better.

2010-12-31T17:09:00.005+08:00

My favourite-st blogpost every year: the Dec31st post :D

Lets start off from the new year resolutions I set for myself one year back

New year resolutions, hmm.
1. Spend more and moreee time with fam, since sister is getting married + moving out! ♥♥♥♥ [checked!]
2. Think straight, get into a uni and course of MY choice. [checked!]
3. Be happy in uni! (: [hmmm... kinda!]

4. Forget [checked!] sidenote: I did not forget to forget.

Not a bad year considering my resolutions were all fulfilled! :D

Thinking back about the things that had happened this year..

Jan was one of the best months of the year since we were still celebrating the end of A levels and still hanging out with friends regularly. It was the first time I worked at expo too. The travelling sucks eventhough I wasn't alone!

Expo!

Feb was spent mostly on my europe trip with my family, etc. It was a good month too, spending the last overseas trip with my sister before she gets married. And for other reasons.
Europe trip

Started work in March and got my results in the same month. Thankfully my results was not bad and my working environment was pretty good too. By march, most of my guy friends said goodbye to their beloved hair and are all ready to protect the nation!

The next few months were spent working working working, OT OT OT.

End May was good. Sister moved out and got married. She looks real happy and that makes us happy.

Sister's wedding

Made a couple of bad decisions too but owell. Whats done can't be undone, right?

Lesson#1: Stress forces you to make decisions that you'll probably regret afterwards.

Lesson#2: Reversing the roles ain't fun. I ain't cut out to be one, so don't try again.

Then came the start of uni life. After much consideration, I joined FOC, my first camp in uni.

I'm glad I met awesome friends, who are still close to me now eventhough we're in different class/AG. Especially thankful to have met WeiYang. He's been a great friend despite knowing him for only, 6mths?
Drinking/whining/complaining pal, yet always make sure I'm okay. :D
FOC!

Then came FAC (O-week) in Aug, which wasn't as exciting and met a few more really awesome friends like Jiten. (It just happen that the people I still keep in touch with after these camps are all guys........) This also marks the start of school! Since I was put into the wrong AG (aka class) during FAC, I knew noone from my AG. But thankfully, after abit of stalking, I got to know them. And I'm glad they're nice people!

Boring OM lectures, 8am econs lectures, stressful tutorials, horrifying mid-terms,
crazy project deadlines and finals. Time passed so quickly, year 1 sem 1 ended. And thats 1/6 of my uni life. Glad I'm happy with what I'm studying and definitely no regrets, at least, for now. December had been a great month. Friends who left sg for further studies came back to visit/xmas/new yr. And I'm thankful for my girlfriends who made me feel better when I'm ): 2011 gonna be a better year, I hope.

So now, resolutions for 2011!!

1. Study hard, ofcuz. Get a even higher cap for sem2!

2. GET RID OF EYEBAGS >;(

3. Ofcuzzz, spending quality time with family no matter what!

4. Regret nothing, repeat no mistakes.

Happy 2011(:

Ending off with a story that I always love.

Leaf, Tree, Wind (I actually prefer the chinese version. This translated version feels weird.)

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit? Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?

But when its too late, the reason behind it doesn't matter anymore.

2010-12-30T12:10:00.001+08:00

Exactly one year ago.

2010-12-29T23:16:00.006+08:00

The past few days had been really awesome for me. Hanging out with my girls really makes me feel so much better. At least, kept things off my mind and decided to let things go the way it wants to. So essentially, I'm okay. Nothing happened in the first place, it was all my mind's fault.

On a lighter note, I.AM.BECOMING.RAMEN.

Omg I've never eaten ramen so frequently before, idk whats with my friends hahaha. Ever since christmas day, I've been eating ramen and I'm eating ramen for lunch and dinner tmr with 2 different groups of friends. Awesome, yes?

Baking at Rebecca's place on monday went really well (: We baked really awesome apple crumble, anzac biscuits and cheesecake! We finished almost the entire apple crumble and brought home the anzac biscuits. Had to leave the cheesecake at her place cuz it needs to be refrigerated overnight. She just told us it taste really delicious though(:

apple crumble! I really love it and it was unexpected cuz we thought its gg to fail! Yumyumyum! Love the "rubbing in" of the crumble mixture. It was gross but amazing.

Anzac biscuits!!! Rebecca introduced this to us cuz apparently its some biscuit which australians love but we know nothing about. We're quite a joke cuz we were supposed to get coconut flakes but we went to get coconut milk instd. Fail. Had to use cornflakes and banana chips (yeah i know right, banana chips haha!) to replace coconut flakes! Thank goodness it turned out good(:
The cheesecake just out from the oven!! She didn't have a electric whisker at home so we had to whisk the mixture manually omg. It was then I realised how fortunate I am to have an electric whisker. I'm sorry, I'll never neglect your importance again.

Her house is reeeeeally huge and beautiful! I love her kitchen, its so huge! We had so much fun baking while singing to grenade and other random songs haha.

Ended the day with monopoly deal and some phototaking.

Met up with yenceen the following day. She's back for awhile before her school starts(:

Ramen at marutama (: So yumyumz! Walked around clarke quay and talked about random stuffs. Sat down by the riverside and continue chatting. Head over to nectarie (yess, again hahaha!) cuz she requested me to x) Haha glad that she likes the place too! Its perfect for dates, I swear ;) Was trying to imagine how we'll both become in the future while we were chatting. Its scary how fast we're growing up, moving on.
But like I said, no matter what, I'll still love you, and us.

♥

Left to met WeiLing, XinXin and Jeanne in the evening. Yes, the loud girl is back from the faraway land.

Went to crystal jade since she wants her xlb.
Had a good chat over dinner.

XinXin left after dinner since she has work the next day. Three of us then walked all the way from wisma to cathay haha and I left becuz I.WAS.BLUR.TWICE.AND.I.COULD.HAVE.STAYED.LONGER.URGH. Sigh but at least, it was a really good day meeting up with my girlies (:

Would you rather be addicted to heartbreaks or to being a heartbreaker?
I'd rather the former.

I know this time its real, but its good for you. It'll really help, or so I hope. I meant every word I told you because, as a friend, I really want you to move on. Its been so long, too long. It pains me too when you said those words. Afterall there were beautiful moments too. Sincerely hope you'll be back with someone better soon.

2010-12-28T23:47:00.004+08:00

雁勤：

你送的每一张卡片，我读了铁定流泪。这张圣诞卡也不例外。

没错，我们的确不容易笑了，不再像十五岁的我们一样，把笑声填满我们的 ava room

(老师还得提醒我们要安静点！)。四年前，我们的笑声，我都还记得。(又哭了啦！

无论我怎么变，我还是那么爱哭。。。) 即使现在少了，我还是珍惜和你在一起的

时光。就算是几个小时，什么也没做，我还是很快乐。你问我闷不闷，我真的一点

都不闷。每一次与你拥抱，感觉还是那么温暖，亲切。可是每一次拥抱都是为了离

别。今天我真的很怕又流泪，所以不敢把你抱得太久。但是心里还是有些难过。

真的很后悔那两年没有多与你联系。我不想重犯这错误了。虽然我相信最要好的朋

友未必是最常在我身边的朋友。

记得吗？

每当我难过，不快乐时，都还会把它翻开来读。它永远能让我记得有个朋友在默默

地支持我，关心我，就算我们的关怀不是每一次都送到。它都再次给我力量。

切记，无论我们有多大的改变，我们还会是我们。每一次(很肉麻地)说“永远爱你”

绝对不变。下一次见面，我也好像再次听见我们怀念的笑声。

- 你的莘迪雅

2010-12-26T20:28:00.003+08:00

Years almost over
Sure looks like December
The snow and ice on the ground
I hadn’t sent a single Christmas card
The 31st is coming around
It makes me remember our last December
How the city looks so beautiful in white
As we walked the street that day you kept me warm
We couldn’t wait to get inside

Now its Christmas and you’re so far away
On this Christmas I just wish you had stayed
And I wonder if you’re thinking of me today
I don’t know what I’ll do its not Christmas without you

I hear carols in the distance
Don’t want to listen because every sound says your not here
Just in case you change your mind I’ll leave a light over the door
And hope you suddenly appear

I’m too old to old to believe in Santa Claus
What are these gifts under the tree
But I did this once
Or many it’s a dream, has he really brought you back to me
its Christmas all I wanted is here
On this Christmas was for you to be near
And I wonder if you’re thinking of me cuz you’re here
My one wish has come true, it’s not Christmas without you

No wonder it doesn't feel like christmas.

2010-12-25T22:55:00.002+08:00

The best christmas gift I've received: Forgiveness.

Or so it seems.

I was truly surprised when I saw the text but somehow I still can't pretend I did nothing to you. I'll still remember that lesson learnt and the guilt for a long time to come no matter what happens. No matter you forgive me or not, I'll never forgive myself for that silly thoughts and actions.

But still, thank you. (and a million sorries)

2010-12-24T13:29:00.009+08:00

Its christmas eve but this christmas just feels so bad.
Heartbreaking season, everyone is so heartbroken for some reason.
Christmas chorus makes me upset, and that is so sad to say.
I just can't help but think of last christmas.

Glad I had an awesome night out with my dearest girl on wed! We decided its chicks over dicks day, so there would be no emo-ing.
Dinner was awesome, at waraku. I love jap food max.
My tsukeman!! Damn yummy(:

She took a lifetime to finish her food, I swear. Hehehe but we did have a good gossiping session there.
Walked around clarke quay becuz she insisted that its too early to drink but we had nowhere else to go. Still ended up at the place she wanted to bring me to, Chupitos bar. Started off with the innocent looking marshmellow shot that burnt my throat BECAUSE she told me swallow the entire thing omg.
Anw, we had a good HTHT and I burst out into tears halfway through talking about - . I know thr's noone I can blame because I made all the decisions myself. And I knew such a day will come anw.. Sigh lets not talk about it. I'm just glad Jeanne was there for me when I break down. I don't even rmb the last time I cried out loud in anyone's arms. Thank you girl!! ♥
Last drink of the night was so awesome, I love all the whipped creammm and the shot was really good.
this picture is srsly damn disgusting but jeannekoh likes it. Its damn gross...... (plus my gross post-crying eyes..... Disgusting....)
When Jeanne was trying to gulp down her drink, this three Hawaiians came over and chat with us. They're so friendly! I was quite high by then so I was really friendly too! And I realise, one thing I can't stop doing is, snapping photos. I kept taking pictures?! Haha.

Left the place feeling high and mighty. Haha really thankful for her to listen to me whine and weep and go crazy. (:

Thurs was spent shopping in town with mom. Omg the crowd is madness I really hate crowds?? Its so irritating I couldn't even shop properly. On a happier note, mom bought me a pooh bedsheet (HAHA) as xmas present!! How awesome(:

Its christmas tmr, and I don't want my mind to kill myself.

I've yet to change. There's just another side of me which you may or may not have known about.

2010-12-22T13:01:00.002+08:00

SHIT YOU BOYS. Retail therapy is way better than you too!

(Way to go, this is how I shld be. No more weeping and whining.)

2010-12-21T11:17:00.004+08:00

I wrote two hundred letters I will never send.

Just got my results back (via sms wts damn scary).

I kind of screamed in bed when i slowly reveal parts of the text and my parents thought I was mad. It turned out better than expected but its prob still the average only. But its damn cool cuz weiyang and I got the same CAP (cumulative aggregate point)! And I got A+ for econs! Damn happy in life :D

Anw, stayed up till close to 5am the previous night. Yahoo pool-ing and chatting with Jeanne. We're damn hopeless people ): Slept for a couple of hours and met her at bugis for lunch.

Had koi therapy (I was feeling pretty upset.....) which didnt help much. Had a good chat with Jeanne, I love listening to her dramatic ups and downs and life.

Walked over to haji lane after that for some retail therapy which didn't help either. I was whining and being demanding every second. She's never seen me in such a state before despite being friends since, sec2. Not a very long time, but it was critical growing up period. And fml, the reason why she seen me in such a terrible state????

(My eyebags are rly damn bad....)

Walked over to bugis street after awhile. Its seriously damn packed and I'm too (upset and) tired to shop anymore. Managed to get a couple of gifts from iluma and haji (just not sure if they're appropriate.........) by then alr.
But anw we finally got to sit down and talk after walking through the mad crowded bugis street.
Feeling better after meeting up with her. I don't know what I'll do if I didn't. ♥ her max and cant wait to see her agn!

Anw, decided to quit aikido (okay ikr, its only been one sem) cuz I don't seem to be progressing. But I'm thankful for the seniors' and teachers' help and encouragement. They are really nice and patient with me eventhough I'm always slow and all. Glad that I managed to try something new, but I'm moving on to try more new stuff, which hopefully will spark my interest better -- kickboxing!

(one underlying reason why i'm quitting. The two *insert faculty's name* guys are seriously.... Making me not want to go online at all.)

2010-12-20T22:15:00.001+08:00

I feel quite bad now....... For being so whiny the entire day.
Lack of slp really gives you emotional instability. It makes you high and makes you cry.

2010-12-20T03:47:00.000+08:00

Queen-of-eyebags-soon-to-be.

2010-12-19T22:53:00.003+08:00

Its 19th and the clock is about the strike 12am soon.

A day I attempt to be a house-chef.

Woke up (not so) bright and early to watch my favourite doraemon.

Baked some brownies in the afternoon.

Everything was easy and good, no mishaps at all before I put my mixture into the oven. Enjoying the aroma while its in the oven and waiting for it to be cooked.
After 25min, I opened the oven to check if its done.
Just when I pull it out, my baking paper got in to contact with the heating element in the oven and IT CAUGHT FIRE.
FML MAX! I was panicking and starting shouting! (I was trying to blow out the fire like an idiot......)
Thank god my mom came to save me (and the brownie, oven and the house).
Thank goodness my brownie still turn out fine. Well actually, I would say its pretty delicious :D

Helped mom made some dumpling ( as in, wantons) for dinner. It looked good, I swear! And tasted good too :D That kind of saved my day a little. Went for an evening walk with mom after dinner too(:

I'm so looking forward to christmas(:

2010-12-17T22:30:00.004+08:00

Yes, I can. Right now.

Sometimes we confuse ourselves. But at the end of the day, we will still figure things out, right?

Its nice seeing people around me (trying to) settle down after a long grueling wait.

Even though its sad hearing some ~~sluts~~ leopard-doesn't-change-its-spots story.

2010-12-16T22:30:00.002+08:00

This is damn sad!!! No one wants to watch the doraemon movie with me (HAHA my mom said I'm alr 19 why the hell would I want to watch such a movie........) except my sister but she can only make it on wkends this is damn sad. But idw her to pay 21bucks for a doraemon movie for two........

ITS OKAY I'LL FIGURE THIS OUT.

Was busy-ing with today's individual presentation the past few days. Was being a good girl and stayed at home to work on it except the tennis session on tuesday. But still screwed it up today. SIGH you shld have seen how they smileddddd (rather, laughing at my gullible thinking) when I was stating my stand and giving examples. And how they eventually said (after a couple of weird qns that I couldn't answer properly......), "I have no further questions" when we were barely halfway thru the time limit for Q&A. They prob didn't want to waste more time on me sigh): This is damn sad to hear. Other two assessments were 2 group work. We were assessed based on how we work in a group. It was quite fun and I kind of enjoyed working with the other 5 members in my grp. One of them happened to be the guy who was a candidate before me during the first interview, and he wished me good luck because I looked really tensed while waiting! Last thing we had to do was peer evaluation. Sigh I kind of hate doing peer evaluation.... I would say, I had much fun today interacting with the ppl in my group, they're all people with strong views and opinions, definitely people who can succeed in future. We had 2 smu guys, 1 ntu guy, 1 airforce-going-ntu guy, another nus girl and me. Quite a good mix I would say.

Even if I were not to be selected for the next round, at least I had a great experience today.

Got to carry on working on bizad stuff alr! I enjoy being busy this way.

2010-12-15T14:17:00.002+08:00

shit. I'm damn nervous for tmr.

-----------------------------------------------

When you're in trouble, who is the first person that comes to your mind?

When you meet with problems, who is the one you think of immediately?

When you received a piece of good news, who do you want to share it with first?

What if the answer to these questions is the same person?

2010-12-13T23:28:00.003+08:00

"I mean honestly, you deserve better than me."

Tumblr ftw.

I just want to fall aslp early, what in the world is stopping me >:(

O-week meeting with the comm today. Went in place of my comm director. Marche-d with them at vivo after that. They're a really friendly bunch (: I can't wait for stupid sem2 to be over (yeah man, I haven't even gotton my sem1 results, haaar.) so that I can enjoy my 3 mths hols!
Sigh but for now, I need to stop procrastinating and do my research sighsighsighsighsigh.
):

2010-12-11T14:33:00.004+08:00

Into my second week of hols alr! Left with exactly one month of holidays. Ohno ohno ohno): Though I've been enjoying every bit of my hols, everyday just seem to be passing ssssssssooooooo sssllllooooowwwwwlllyyyyyy, and that sucks.

The best was, I dreamt that my CAP was 1.09118 (okay dont ask me why the number is so weird). Wl, if that comes true, I so need to kill myself already. (max CAP is 5 btw)

Spent the entire wednesday with mom and dad, cuz dad took leave for meeeee :D Shopped in the day (plus koi!) and brought them to the helix bridge in the evening :D Hahaha it totally reminded me of my cultural studies paper (Qn: Discuss the cultural significance of the new iconic structure in singapore -- Helix Bridge).

Thurs was cca day! Camped at raffles city starbucks the entire afternoon. Met Ben and got updated with whats gonna happen for the comm next sem. Met a supplier for a while then left to meet Althea. I'm in her comm for o-week and that was the first time we met each other. Thankfully it went pretty well. At least we got the ideas and I'm more aware of whats happening in the comm alr. Shopped ard abit after that since we both had time to spare :D

Spent yst shopping around in the afternoon (OKAY ikr I'm always shopping but I hasn't been buying anyth becuz I haven't seen anyth that I like! And, I can't find nice prezzies too!!! ]: ) and met Weiyang in the evening. Walked over to timbre at arts museum and had some really yummy fooodddd.

The duck pizza :D We were so hungry when we reached so we just ordered a pizza first. It was mad yummy, esp if you spam the cheese :D Haha! Didn't know its that filling but anw we finished it. He's got beer for himself while I got this really girly drink Baileys with hershey syrup and all sorts of choc nonsense. Goodness, its so good! :D I loveeeeeeee it! Its like thick choc milkshake with bailey's, which is a perfect combination. So craving for it alr. Waited for a million years before our buffalo wings finally came We were so full and bored by the time it came (i think it took one hr??? Because they were changing the gas or smthh like that. And the band started so late.... We were practically rotting while waiting). But it was yummy! Veryyy yummy :D Wasn't too hot, in fact I love the sauce :D
Before and after eating the buffalo wings hahaha. Left timbre after that, and walked over to clarke quay. We're greedy people so we headed down to nectarie for desserts :D Yesyesyes, nectarie again!
My baileys icecream and his lavender honey (wl it really tasted like lavender. I'll never want to try that...). Love sitting in there and watch people walking past :D Haha and I hope its obvious that I really like baileys hahahah.
Had a good chat with him yst and I guess I'm not feeling as lost as the prev time we chat. Guess I'm pretty certain of what I want now, and that is a good thing.
(: Good job.

2010-12-09T22:12:00.003+08:00

Everytime I'll find a million excuses. Can't you get it at all? Its a NO NO NO NO NO.

>:(

GRRR I'm an angry girl today!!!!!

2010-12-07T23:43:00.005+08:00

Omg I'm so hungry now............... But I'm sleeping soon so its okay.
Its been a wonderful dayyyy!
Woke up reeeeally early (okay, 8.30am, after snoozing my alarm a million times again) and went over to Hannah's place for some tennis with Gary and JinHui! Wheeeee I love the sun! It was enjoyable though I was really quite bad at it... Haha.
And... My blood pressure is really giving me some problem. Its getting worse... I shan't be lazy and obstinate anymore):
Lunched at newyorknewyork after bathing. My dory was not bad(: Played truth or dare, and zhong ji mi ma. I really feel quite stupid now. The person who lose has to take a mouthful of the disgusting coleslaw with tobasco. We played thrice, they lost one turn each, but they still made me eat it in the end. Wl don't understand why I was so silly to listen to them, really. Anw, it was quite gross.
The guys left, while I went back to Hannah's place to waste time haha. Had fun nua-ing at her place. I swear I was in an extreme nua mood by the time I had to leave for aikido. Hahaha.
Aikido today was pretty good too.
Am thinking of switching cca): Should I! (I can't even go for grading because because.. Because I cant fulfil the 40hours of training for 6mths thing (eventho we train for like 2hrs per session, they take it as 1hr). So... ]: )

Btw btw btw, I got shortlisted for the second round of selection for the spring scholarship :) It was pretty unexpected because my interviewer was yawning during the interview? And I didn't quite express myself that well during the interview too.. My brain was quite dead by that time, esp since I sat for my OM paper before that. Okay long way to go, and I need confidence boosters. I'm actually hoping I can get it cuz I (finally) realised its a scholarship that is pretty much beneficial and suitable for me. So, wish me luck, guys(: Even if I can't get it, the 2nd round is gonna be a good exposure for me. (It would be a presentation and groupworks. Quite excited abt it!)

Haha some of the pictures I took during exam period (due to boredom from mugging) I look damn retarded plz dont laugh at me.
Yeah, I'm a CULTURAL STUDIES READER. Wooooo (I SO NEED TO DO WELL FOR THIS MODULE!)

And econs. It was my last paper... I was so sick of exams by the time I was studying for it. Sigh.

Idk why I'm posting such stupid photos but well (:

Otw home just now, I realised I actually like girls' talks now. Because I can finally relate to them (again). Like how little things can make us so happy and so sad. How these little things can affect us. Why we choose to believe, why we are so paranoid and sensitive all the time. I can so understand them now. Think I'm (finally) turning back to normal......! (& I wonder if its a good thing?)

2010-12-05T23:04:00.013+08:00

(Randomly clicking on your friend's blog links can really bring you to places you never know about its existence. All thanks to boredom.)

YAY EXAMS ARE OVER (a couple of days ago :D)

Last paper ended on thurs morning. Cabbed to town with the girls since we were all heading in the same direction. Hannah and I got our brows done :D ITS DAMN NICE NOW I'M SO HAPPY but it was the worst experience ever. I swear the service was -10 eventhough the results deserve an 8. That woman was screaming at me to hold my fringe to keep it away from my hair, pull the area around my brows to make sure its tight and grabbed my hands to adjust the position of my hands ZZZZZZ I was quite pissed off already, esp since SHE WAS TOTALLY NOT GENTLE WITH ME even after telling her its the first time I was there. And, after she's done, she merely passed me the alcohol swab and tissue, I HAD TO CLEAN UP MYSELF?!!! This is damn mega sad. But thank goodness it turned out nice, otherwise..............
Went to shop around 313 for abit, then decided to head down to ion for happy lemon!We looked damn cui...... (its exam cui-ness sigh) Shopped around, and Rebecca came to join us :D Continued shopping around in pretty shops and went over to borders!

Haha just for record, all three of us were wearing white, Hannah and I were both wearing white and pink haha. Its quite funny :D
I left after awhile for queensway. Sat at the busstop for 30min before realising I have an umbrella ): Stupid girl, thinking she's stuck in the rain! Collected my contact lens (yay :D) and met mom for dinner at ikea :D
Mom looks really happy haha

Home sweet home after that! (slept really early that night :D)

Friday was good too! Slept till 11am plus, went for my haircut (my hair was utterly messy and way too long for me!!!) and watch harry potter! Yes ikr, like finally.! It was good(: But there was this woman behind me who kept talking and talking NON-STOP during the entire movie zz like HELLO I can see whats happening on the screen, pls dont repeat it for me......

Sat was spent at USS! It was quite fun(: Its actly good that it was a rainy day, cuz at least we weren't dying of heat HAHA.
Went for the 4d shrek adventure show first. We were all really happy after the show haha, it was definitely entertaining :D
After the show, it was alr noon? So, went for lunch at the ancient egypt world!

Head over to the mummy indoor roller coaster ride, but it was temporarily closed due to technical failure! >:( So we had to head back to the lost world for the flume ride!
WOW we wore poncho but we were still soaked!!! It was good, but... Wasn't as good as we expected. The dinos looked a little fake and... It wasn't that thrilling, it just made sure we were soaked.
Queued for the waterworld show at the same place. Well actly we watched the show before few yrs back in japan but.. It was a really cool show so we decided to watch it again :D The gunshots, fire, water splashing and motorboats were awesomeeeee.
Rushed over to the canopy flyer after the show :D Still in the lost world hahaha (we just love dinosaurs this much????) WOW the turns and acceleration was mega exciting. I swear I was screaming damn loudly haha! The ride lasted for only a minute I think. But WOW its fun (:
Went back to the ancient eygpt world for the mummy ride. FINALLY its ready but the waiting time is one hour!! BUT we are so not leaving uss without taking this ride! SO WE DID, queued, waited and.... The ride was the best we'd for the day. Damn mega thrilling and I was, as usual, screaming like craaaazy. The turns were madness, I think for a moment or two I was being flipped over???? Haha I have no idea what was happening but it was mad awesome :D

:D
Left for dinner and cont walking ard a little. Bought chocs from the shops there HEHEHE and ofcuz, the hershey's choc shop outside!! IT WAS A MAD PRETTY PLACE with all the hershey's chocs! Its like choc heaven haha!! ITS DAMN HUGEEE A BOTTLE!!! :D

Weeee, I LOVE CHRISTMAS AND CHRISTMAS TREESS (:
Walked around a little more and left! Was tired but happy!

Sunday was spent lazing in bed till 11am plusssss, again. Sister came after awhile (yay!) and we left for marina at mid afternoon(: Shopped around, talked, and had dinner at sakae.
Some of the food we had :DDad and mom looking reaaaally happy hahaha.
Sister and I :D

Feeling realllyyy happy that I've spent the past few days after exams with my family. Definitely trying to make up all the time I've lost thanks to mugging and school. This is awesome life (:
i found myself counting the number of days and counting down to the date.

2010-11-28T00:42:00.003+08:00

I'm bursting with things to say.
Like, I have a million things to rant about but idk who will be so free to actly sit down and listen to my boring drama in life.
I don't like how sober I feel now because there are so many pyschological barriers whenever I want to say something.
And, and and I hate it that I still have 2 more papers to go and I'm not in my best condition anymore.
:'(

I've been having damn weird dreams recently and I can't fall aslp till 2am every night. Yeah, even the nights before my morning papers.
SIGH!!!!! 5 more days ):

2010-11-26T23:42:00.003+08:00

Hi
Girl you just caught my eye
thought I should give it try
and get your name & your number
go grab some lunch & eat cucumbers
WHY, DID I SAY THAT?
I don’t know why.
But you’re smilin’ & it’s something’ i like
on your face, yeah it suits you
girl we connect like we have bluetooth

i don’t know why
I’m drawn to you
Could you be the other one so we’d equal two?
and this is all based on a lucky chance
that you would rather add then subtract

You & I
could be like sonny & cher
honey & bears
You & I
could be like aladdin & jasmine
lets make it happen

La La’s

Hey
How’ve you been?
I know that it’s been awhile.
Are you tired cause you’ve been on my mind
runnin’ thousand & thousands of miles
Sorry, I know that line’s outta style
but you
you look so beautiful on this starry night
loving the way the moonlight catches your eyes & your smile
i’m captivated
your beauty is timeless never outdated

babe
its been 5 years since that special day
when I asked you on our first date
i guess it’s safe to say

Let me say
you look beautiful on our wedding day

Its such a sweet songggg!!!!! (:

3 papers down, 2 more to go.

BA paper today was quite bad, like, I was on the verge of giving up for the last question. It was damn tough?? Okay, tough for me, only. Sigh oh sigh.

Dong drove us to clementi for lunch after the paper today. Koi-ed with Hannah after that. Definitely made us happier. Back to school to mug. It wasn't very productive, prob because the morning paper was too draining SIGH.

Met Wong Kean Yong at jp for dinner after that. Ajisen and bitching ftw (:

Got to muggggggg and sleep soon ):

2010-11-20T22:47:00.003+08:00

Never ever want this to happen (again)
So many things I said I wouldn't do, so many things I said I don't want them to happen to me again. But somehow, I think they'll still happen.
Sucks. This reeeeally really sucks.

Just a random thought after surfing tumblr.

I love studying with Hannah!! Productive, bitchy, and we totally know when we need the champagne test (KOI!!!!) hahaha.
Finals started today.
My blog is damn boring now cuz my life is damn boring now so BYE gots some work to do now!

其实我真的很难过只是难过都沦为沉默

2010-11-16T23:26:00.004+08:00

It wasn't love.

There's only guilt left. And I'm still the one who got left behind.

Never, ever, gonna do this same thing again. I promise.

Just got home from one of the most encouraging aikido trng.

WOWW, I was so fail. I did so badly today, but sensei kept encouraging me and showing me the right way to do the diff moves. So it was pretty good afterall. Plus, today's trng was at dance studio = aircon = no as warm and noisy as usual trng = motivation!

Anw, went to sch early today and had a good studying session with hannah, jinhui and gary. It was pretty productive!! I'm left with 1 more chap to go :D Awesome.

I'm reallyyyyyyyyy driven to go running and so I will do just that tmr evening! Hopefully I keep up with the momentum and loseeeee someeee weightttttttt.

On the other hand... I'm craving for yummy food!!!!

I miss yummy jap food, yummy western food, yummy food from ikea, and omg, ALOT MORE hehehe. I'm a greeeedy girl.

2010-11-12T00:39:00.003+08:00

I want macaroons, I want yummy icecream, I want to laugh non-stop and go crazy.

So crazy to blog now when I have 8am lecture tmr ):

Anw, as a form of motivation (for myself),

Things to do after stupid finals:

1. THREAD MY BROWS >;)

2. Meet up with people I've been wanting to (I have the list in my head alr!!)

3. TANNING.

4. Stop being lazy and go running

5. CHRISTMAS (:

6. Work!!! (I just need to earn some income!)

7. Try to get more involved in bizad..........

But for now, I just need to sleep so that I wouldn't die during econs lect ~~tmr~~ later!