I feel like I have no free days for myself anymore.
Schoolwork's getting heavier. Perhaps because I haven't been consistent since week one. But omg, really, everyone was still busking in the orientation atmosphere. I just couldn't adjust after so much fun.
Not to mention, our ag split up and its clear we're all going different paths now. People taking spec mods, minor mods, diff set of core mods, etc. Getting closer with people from other ag after all the fops. As a result, we spend much lesser time together in school anymore. But perhaps this is the real uni life, where we don't see the same few people everyday, every lect, every tutorial.
Weekends are filled to the brim, considering the amount of tutorials I have to prepare and the time I'll want to take out to spend time with people important to me.
And now, after my decision to take on another commitment, I wonder where did the time for myself have gone to.
After all these while in school, I realise I ain't that good. Not smart enough, not fun-loving enough, just simply not good enough. Demoralising, but true. Future seems bleak, sadly.

I can't stay positive all the time. I can't be smiling and laughing all the time, as I'd like, as my friends would see me as. There are low times too and all I need is time alone to think through everything. But, I need the time.
Regardless, I still know clearly that I'm thankful for everything I have now. I have more than what I deserve already.